The Summer of Superheroes and Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model

I know the world is a lunatic cesspool full of bad people, but why do we need so many superheroes? When I was a kid, even until 1989, we got by with the Big Two: Batman and Superman. Now, I am getting all geeked up for Ant-Man and The Wasp (a sequel no less to the original Ant-Man that made Paul Rudd a superhero)…yes Paul Rudd.

Yet I digress…

Things were a lot easier when the Big Two were battling the same super villains over and over again. Now every superhero is a superstar. Take Thor from the planet of Asgard. He wanders around with a mini sledgehammer and was the the ace in the hole in the latest Avengers movie. We all know what happened to him (right?). Batman or Superman would never let that happen.

Blank Panther made a big splash at the box office recently. Until I was dragged to the theater I thought it was a biopic about Bobby Seale or Huey Newton. Everywhere I look there are super heroes getting their own movies, Silver Surfer, Aquaman, The Thing, The Green Lantern. Speaking of the Green Lantern, his power is in his ring, yet the ring is hooked to a battery. I mean, you cannot make this stuff up.

(I guess you quite literally can.)

Serious question: Are the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles super heroes? It’s almost like asking if a hot dog or a wrap is a sandwich. You might get a 50-50 split, yes or no, if you asked 100 people Family Feud-style.

Really, the only super heroes you ever really need is Batman or Superman. And, if you live in the real world, Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model is all you need.

Okay, so where am I?

I’m meeting Margrét in South Central Los Angeles, helping her out with a western hat ad comp she’s trying to get off the ground. I mean, who am I to say no?

(For those of you wondering why she’s a big deal in The Media Guy lore, scroll to the bottom and take the primer and read the three previous columns, including the first one from 2014 which still remains the top post of all time.) And, for regular readers, catch up with the queen of the birthday suit.

Media Guy: I heard a bunch of stories about your showdown with Betty Rage, how did that go down?

Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model: You may recall that last time I mud-rassled, I accidentally ingested some of the chocolate pudding “mud,” and was afflicted with terrible stomach flu afterward. Well, this time I knew better, so made sure to keep my lips shut, and to shower off thoroughly afterward. This rassling experience was better all-around than my last time, which you might recall was slightly scarring since I only got a $40 bid to be my towel boy — well, this time, some poor drunk guy bid $60 on me, and paid up….but he was so wasted that they had to escort him out of the bar before he had a chance to get in the ring with me. So they auctioned me off a second time, and this awesome British dude bid another $60 on me — and he was cool. He helped me defeat my first opponent, Kombat Kitty…but then I faced off against Betty Rage, and she beat me silly. Oh well, you can’t win ’em all!

MG: What a wacky gig! Surely there are better ways to drum up modeling gigs…

MMNFM: In this #MeToo #TimesUp culture, nude modeling has taken a real hit, which is a true shame. One is that historically, with a few exceptions, the nude is mainly a phenomenon of Western art. The other is that from very early on, the nude male and the nude female are treated quite differently and have different roles to play. The male nude body in Greek sculpture was used both for portrayals of ideal heroes – gods and idealized portraits of real heroes, notably the champions at the Olympic games. This brings up another basic aspect of the nude in art, its sometimes uneasy relationship to sexual desire. The entrenched homo-eroticism of ancient Greek society clearly has a good deal to do with the pre-eminence of the heroic male nude. In fact, around the 4th century BC, Praxitales and other sculptors did begin depicting nude females, notably the goddess of love, Aphrodite. But it remained indecorous for female portraits to depict nudity. More generally, a double standard where male and female nudity was concerned, persisted through the period of Roman sculpture and, indeed, right up to modern times, though its terms of reference frequently changed.

MG: So wacky gigs are the way to go?

MMNFM: One final wacky gig I did lately was act as concierge for this group of rowdy drunken Canadian guys who come out every year to play golf and cat around: I caddied for them last year, and they were so taken with me that this year they hired me to arrange everything. The first day, I set up a nude photo shoot with me and my fellow Goddess Collective members up at Red Rock Canyon — we drove the guys out there and posed for female-on-female art shots for a couple hours, and a great time was had by all. Then the next day, we all met up at a local golf course and proceeded to booze our way around the course, taking all manner of salacious photos and engaging in all kinds of naughty shenanigans involving strategically-placed golf tees and lots of puns involving the word “balls.” The final day, we were all supposed to get a cabana at one of the big pool parties, but the weather had turned shitty so we ended up just getting wasted at their hotel Jacuzzi, then going to the nightclub and getting messed up til all hours of the night.

Now, I haven’t set foot in a nightclub since the days when I was working at one…and guess what? It was just as abhorrent an experience as I recalled! This particular place was especially lame and unremarkable — they actually had the gall to hire that tired moron from Jersey Shore, Pauly D, as DJ! Even worse, all the star-struck, farm girls in the crowd were absolutely stoked, holding up their cell phones to capture footage of this momentous occasion. JEEZ!

Still, I’m not sure what happened but I ended up having a fantastic time — I was dressed really sloppily, in leggings and flip-flops (remember, we were boozing at the pool all day), but something happened and I went bat shit dancing, burning about 1,000,000 calories and having a really good time, despite the horrible DJ and lame-ass environment…so I guess it wasn’t all bad! The only downside was, after all that I felt like I’d been hit by a giant alcoholic Canuck bus — I mean, I was exhausted when those guys left! I don’t know how they did it.

MG: You used to be the belle of the ball, working every party which leads to me wondering if there have been any good parties lately.

MMNFM: The best party I went to lately was this amazing Burning-Man-themed bicycle pub crawl organized by one of my neighbors, called Blinking Man. Twice a year, about 300-400 wackos in costumes ride bikes covered in blinking lights all over downtown Vegas, stopping at four or five bars along the way for drinks and fun. This one group carts around a full DJ setup, and we basically have raves in all the parking lots we stop at along the way –

– it’s a RIOT! I went with some of my neighbors and friends, and even my roommate made an appearance, Rollerblading around half-naked in an Indian headdress and a G-string. NICE! All in all I was out til about 2am, pedaling furiously about the streets of downtown Vegas, dancing and drinking and getting merry like Christmas. NO WONDER I’M TIRED — that was my day off!!!

Previous Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model Columns:

NSFW: At the Baghdad Cafe with Margrét>>October 16, 2017

Catching up with Margrét>>March 9, 2015

Nude Modeling>>February 2, 2014