Pokemon Go Is Taking Over the World

I am shopping for a mattress and geez this is harder than getting actors to the set on time. I saw one company that said I could buy a new mattress and not pay for five years! My first thought was finally the terminally ill catch a break. They get a new mattress knowing full well that they will never be around to pay for it. Good for them, right? But, seriously? Five years?

I really don’t want to judge those without a lot of money. We can’t all afford to pay cash for a Kluft Palais Royal (who can really?), but you might want to consider a career change if you need five years to scrape together enough for a down payment for you bed. Yet I digress…

No need to speak to your waitress at Chili’s anymore…

Much of retail strategy involves the curtailing of human interaction, however, some stores go the opposite route. You can’t go into a Nordstrom without 32 employees saying hello or asking if you need to get a dressing room started. More and more companies are just plain shying away this one-on-one interaction. If I go to Chili’s,  I can pay without getting the check via the same device that I can order appetizers from and at the Cheesecake Factory I download an app my iPhone that will allow me to do the same. (Trust me, I am in no hurry to pay the bill…)

Everything now is bar codes, emails, credit cards…paperless at every point. Even when I go to the movies, all I get is is an email with my seat assignment from Arclight Cinemas. I sometimes think I would wait in a longer line to speak with the ticket person through that small round hole in the glass just to feel some human connection. For the love of it, sometimes I just want to see that paper in my paw as a slide towards the 19 year old who can’t wait to scan me in so he can get back to his Snapchat faster. After all, that ticket is my proof I have paid an entitled to entry.

As I prattle on, it occurs to me I am all over the map and I haven’t even gotten to the gold in this column. What about all of these people who have downloaded this Pokemon Go app and are now wandering the cities of America in a modern version of “Scavenger Hunt” chasing imaginary things in what Nintendo calls a world of “augmented reality.”

Pokemon Go is taking over the world sending Nintendo stocks soaring and launching conspiracy theories that the game is really a CIA-type surveillance system. But my question is this: when did actual reality become too dull to amuse us?

Here are some of the headlines:

Forbes reports that since its release last Wednesday, Pokémon Go has become a massive global phenomenon. Gamers have left their sofas and descended on parks, houses and street corners in search of the virtual creatures generated by the augmented-reality hit. As well as sending gamers into the great outdoors, Pokémon Go has also sent Nintendo’s stock soaring with market value gains reaching $7.5 billion in just two days.

The infographic above shows just how obsessed Android users have become with Pokémon Go. They used it for an average of 43 minutes last Friday, considerably longer than well established and popular apps including WhatsApp (30 minutes) and Instagram (25 minutes). Pokémon Go has been downloaded an estimated 7.5 million times in the U.S. as of July 11, 2016.

Pokémon Go Is a Government Surveillance Psyop Conspiracy

Less than a week after Pokémon Go’s launch, our streets are already filled with packs of phone-wielding, Weedle-catching zombies. They’re robbing our teens, filling our churches with sinners, and tricking our children into exercising. But worst of all, Pokémon Go is turning us all into an army of narcs in service of the coming New World Order. Read more…

Pokémon Go, Explained


Everyone is suddenly catching Pokémon fever again. Here’s what’s going on.

Pokémon-Chasing Investors Send Nintendo Shares Soaring

Craze added $9 billion in market value to gaming company. Read more…

The Psychology of How Pokémon Go Gets Inside Your Brain

HAVE YOU GOT the fever? Oh yeah you’ve got the fever. Pokémon Go is here, and you are feelin’ it. Charizard? Char-was-easy. Grimer? Get the Muk in my Pokéball. Doduo? More like do-duon’t waste my time. Gotta catch ’em all!

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Well that’s it.

It’s time to wrap up this column and buy a mattress. By the time they com looking for their money in 2021, I’ll either be dead or living under an assumed name to avoid making that down payment.

Media Guy out!