I’m rubbing elbows with the elite of music at the American Music Awards. Sting, Ariana Grande, Selena Gomez and more. Before I arrived to the red carpet on Sunday, I was offered $5,000 for one of my press passes. I passed because if you did that at the Oscars you might wind up in white collar prison. A young Media Guy would have done it. I’m either old or wise now…

I was super thrilled to see Gigi Hadid on the red carpet and host the show. However, I might be the only one who made this must-see TV. Variety says that barely eight million people watched last night’s American Music Awards (which was down a humongous 31% from 2015).

What else does that mean?

It means that right around eight million folks have sore faces from the involuntary face crumpling inspired by Gigi Hadid trying to bring the comedy on some random youtube episode. Her monologue with Jay Pharoah was an epic dumpster fire that you couldn’t take your eyes off of.

I describe Gigi’s hosting performance in the same way many study executives describe my early Media Guy television show pitches: awkward, weird, stiff (not in a hot way) and left you needing several strong well drinks. But what really annoyed me was her demeaning imitation of our First Lady-elect.

During their opening, Pharoah did the obligatory impersonations of Jay Z and (of course) Donald Trump (he’s from Saturday Night Live, folks, he had to). On the other side, Gigi forgot that she’s Palestinian and all of the heartache the people from Palestine have endured over the year and unleashed a Melania Trump impression that was, well, awkward, weird, stiff (not in a hot way) and left you needing several strong drinks. Sure it’s easy to impersonate Melania Trump. But do you have to? I mean Mrs. Trump is only the second foreign-born First Lady ever. If you don’t like The DOn and his politics and immigration policies, rail on the man not the woman. Shaming a First Lady to be isn’t the path to unifying America.

Geez, what happened to the Gigi who shoots out massive loads of charisma and personality? Sheesh! Disappointing.

Click here to watch – go to the 2:23 mark of the clip

On the flip slide of the girl-on-girl crime perpetuated by Gigi is Selena Gomez.

Over the last few months, Selena (yeah, I think I can call her that now after the St. Jude’s Gala a decade ago) has been off the grid dealing with her lupus diagnosis and other issues rooted in the evil of Justin Bieber/the aftermath of being a Disney child star.  On this night won an he AMA for Favorite Pop/Rock Female Artist and made us all cry:

“Thank you guys so much. In 2014, this stage was actually the first time that I was authentically 100% honest with all of you. I think it’s safe to say that most of you know a lot of my life whether I liked it or not. And I had to stop, ’cause I had everything, and I was absolutely broken inside. And I kept it all together enough to where I would never let you down, but I kept it too much together where I let myself down. 

I don’t want to see your bodies on Instagram. I want to see what’s in here. I’m not trying to get validation, nor do I need it anymore. All I can say from the bottom of my heart is I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be able to share what I love every single day with people that I love. And I have to say thank you so much to my fans because you are so damn loyal, and I don’t know what I did to deserve you. But if you are broken, you do not have to stay broken. And if that’s anything, whether you respect me or not, that’s one thing you should know about me: is that I care about people.”

On an unrelated note, Selena’s former friend Kylie Jenner was so so confused by Selena’s speech, she probably whispered to one of the Dashes, “If you’re not putting your body on Instagram for attention, what the hell is the point? I mean if you aren’t told regularly that your pictures violate their explicit content rules, then you’re not trying.”

Maybe I should take this down – I don’t want to be sued…In any case, on with the AMA / Media Guy Red Carpet Gallery:

Ariana Grande: Seeing a woman who looks like a 12 year old dressing sexy is forever awkward, weird, stiff (not in a hot way) and left you needing several strong drinks.

DJ Khaled: You can the man out of the DJ booth, but not the DJ out of the man.

Gigi: Stunning nonetheless.

Kat Graham: The highlight of any red carpet.

Lady Gaga with the impeccable white pant suit and 1970’s model hat.

Simply Red – Selena Gomez

Sting: I still can’t get over that he makes $2,000 a day from Puff Daddy’s ripoff of his song.

————-

NOTE: In 2013, I covered the American Music Awards and got distracted by a one-armed man. Read on…

The post The AMAs: Girl-on Girl Crime! appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

(More on that in a minute).

In between my regular job (well, it’s not so regular, it’s actually invigorating), working with the team to prepare the campaign overview for the Clio submission (it’s hard to condense so much genius into a two-minute video) and re-writing scripts for my Japanese television show, I’m continuing my mission to rid the airwaves and magazines of sexist advertising.

Not that it will happen anytime soon.

*Sigh*

Tip of the hat to Annie Apple, mother of New York Giants top draft pick Eli Apple in her quest to keep women who collect athlete intimacy as trophies away from her son:

What exactly is a cleavage action pic?

Gosh, I’m so old.

The seats were pretty, pretty good last night.

But Vegas will make you feel old even if you ARE twentysomething and can stay up for 30 hours consuming free drinks and betting the come line on the craps tables.

Yes, Las Vegas, home of my old Draper Days getaways, is exactly where I am.

A much needed side trip was in order to reboot the creative engines, film a commercial, and shake my head at the overwhelming homage to “Sex Sells Advertising” that proliferates the landscape. (More on Sex Sells in another column.) Another reason to take that 45-minute flight from LAX was to see an old friend who was kicking off her concert tour,

I’ve known Selena Gomez for nearly a decade, first meeting her at a St. Jude’s benefit gala in Beverly Hills. There was a fashion show and she was none too happy that her dress was too provocative. Somehow I was pulled into the tornado because she wasn’t going on and as the only father in the general vicinity, she wanted some backup that the dress was too much for a 14 year-old to wear. I had to agree that a neckline that plunged down to her belly button was over the top. Long story short, they got her a new dress and now I get to go to Revival Concert Tour opening nights in Sin City.

Great show Selena.

Ride Me All Day

Meanwhile, back in the United Kingdom, some fool who runs the advertising department for a Welsh bus company greenlit a campaign that features a topless woman holding a sign that reads: “ride me all day for £3.” Cardiff will never be the same.

The now controversial ad campaign prompted social media outrage and  of  following widespread outrage on social media calling the campaign “sexist” and “vile.” Tip of the hat to whomever genius didn’t focus group these ads before they ran. That’s like Advertising 301. Gotta focus group ad campaigns when they are going out-of-home. One slip and you’re going to wind up with a lot of bad publicity.

Pretty shocking that there are still ad agencies that think this an acceptable method to use this kind of imagery to sell a bus ticket.

In a related note, the adverts featuring males doing the exact same thing does not appear to have caused as much outrage. Shocker!

The post Selena, Annie, and More Stupid Advertising from Across the Pond appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

An update on the 2014-15 Awards Season just as soon as I find a pair of slacks and a tie to wear in order to meet Duchess Kate and Prince William…

“Dear…whatever on Earth is Izzy wearing?”

In case you didn’t know, the offspring of the world’s original reality show [read England’s Royal Family] is taking their press junket to the colonies in a few weeks. Imagine my horror surprise to discover that their passive aggressive ways are manifesting themselves in the form of a dress code! Yes, indeed, a dress code. Now like any good Media Guy, I have my share of appointment only clothes taking my advise from the great Bijan of Beverly Hills years ago, but a dress code to ask Duchess Kate about Scottish succession and crumpets seem a bit punitive. The office work from the royals is dripping with aristocratic icing and sounds something like this:

Journalists wishing to cover Royal engagements, whether in the United Kingdom or abroad, should comply with the dress code on formal occasions out of respect for the guests of The Queen, or any other member of the Royal Family.

Smart attire for men includes the wearing of a jacket and tie, and for women a trouser or skirt suit. Those wearing jeans or trainers will not be admitted and casually dressed members of the media will be turned away. This also applies to technicians.

Talk about taxation without representation! Didn’t John Hancock, George Washington and Paul Revere break free from British anarchy because they were tired of being bossed around 24/7? Kate and Billy aren’t our respective Duchess and Prince so why do I have to change out of the standard Chic MG look (“smart blazer, Nordstrom black tee, Ferragamos and Armani jeans) just to ask a few fluff questions for the new column. The fearlessness of their requests are matched solely by their boldness!

So be warned: Any American reporter who wishes to be in the presence of their royal highnesses better think twice about showing up all Petite Bourgeoisie and disheveled, because Duchess Kate is anti-denim.

(By the way, I am sure I could Wikipedia this to get a semi-accurate answer, but why is Kate a Duchess and not a Princess? That would be my first and, most likely, last question before getting bounced from the presser…yet I digress…)

AMERICAN MUSIC AWARDS (#AMAs)

So where am I? 

I am, of course, at the American Music Awards right in the shadows of the Staples Center in Downtown Los Angeles.

Fresh manicure to go with a freshly-minted press credential.

Now I know what you’re thinking that I should be praising Taylor Swift as accepted the first-ever Dick Clark Award for Excellence as she breathless took the award from the ageless Diana Ross. Swiftie confirmed what many of us already knew: Vinyl is back! She took to the offensive (take note Duchess Kate) with a masterfully crafted anti-streaming-service backhander with this golden nugget:

“What you did by going out and investing in music and albums is you are saying that you believe in the same thing that I believe in: that music is valuable and music should be consumed in albums and albums should be consumed as art and appreciated.”

She can make such speeches as the only artist ever (!) to have three albums sell more than a million copies in a single week,

Bleona, the Madonna of Albania

Yes, yes, I know I should be praising her, but all I could think about was that it’s a good thing that Prince Bill and Duchess Kate weren’t at L.A. Live trying to look cool for their bi-weekly People Magazine cover. They would have thought the dress code at the Nokia Theatre was most definitely Proletariat. Here’s a quick sampling of the violators of the RH Dress Code:

Bleona

At least once an episode, the star of Bravo’s Euros of Hollywood lets us know that she is the Madonna of Albania, sellout out her country’s stadiums faster than they can sell tickets. I mean, according to her almost one in three Albanians have her poster taped to their bedroom walls (or ceilings). Based on that, she is certainly too big for tiny Albania and now she is ready to take over America. One thing is for sure, Kate would have made Bill take off his cashmere cloak and cover her up last night.

Frankie Grande

I mean why wouldn’t Frankie Grande be there with his painted-on, button down t-shirt? At least Kate would

The Flamingo of Candyland Chippendale’s.

have appreciated that he wore a pink bow-tie. I give him credit though because most people would have sweat through the Sherman-Williams mess with the Santa Ana winds blowing hot from the north. Not Frankie. He’s a cool cat. He’s the brother of the most famous Bratz Doll ever. And, he got to stroll down the red carpet in the first wave of D-listers.

Selena Gomez

Nothing breaks my heart more than Selena who just can’t quit Bieber. One thing rings true, however. She knows how to dress. From her stunning black number on the red carpet to her beautiful dress on stage singing “The Heart Wants What it Wants” (an obvious ode to Biebs), Ms. Gomez never fails to look incredible.

JLo and Izzy

Well, that was definitely bum rubbing. The ABC executives won’t be too pleased. The rest of the performance consisted of Jennifer Lopez gyrating, arching her back, getting down on all fours and generally presenting her hindquarters. And that
concludes the American Music awards, perhaps in fitting style. It has, after all, been a very booty-centric year.

HOLLYWOOD FILM AWARDS

About a week before the #AMAs, the Hollywood Film Awards had their grand coming out party at Hollywood’s dilapidated Palladium. The 18th annual (Eighteenth? Who knew?!) gala finally made it to prime time with its first televised performance in the history of the event. Although dismally-rated (0.5 rating / 2 share – which means less that 2% of all televisions is use were watching – FYI, the Oscars pulled in a 12.9 rating), the show does deliver quirky. Evidently they are carving their spot as the star-equivalent of a sloppy holiday office party. This year, Johnny Depp played the role of the creative director with who gets canned for draining a bottle of Grey Goose and copying his bottom before his speech announcing the complexities of the year-end bonus. This is my long-shelved untitled Don Draper Satire I hopped to get produced one day. Alas, a Media Guy can dream…

Depp was tabbed to present the Hollywood Documentary Award to Mike Myers (yes, Shrek) for his documentary about Hollywood talent manager Shep Gordon, Supermensch: The Legend of Shep Gordon. Apparently, Depp got some advance script pages and jumped right into character. I mean who knew they served copious amounts of booze at this awards show? How do I know? Because Pirate Johnny rolled in like a Lohan trying pick a drunk fight with an innocent microphone and trying in earnest to read the teleprompter. That failed attempt brought the ever-welcomed ad lib, where John went totally off-script with a swear-fest that would make Mel Gibson proud…which begs the question: what’s eating Gilbert Grape…The best part is there is video evidence for this one…

Congrats Johnny. Pick up your promotional check backstage. At least the world now has an inking what the Hollywood Film Awards are!

And with all of that alcohol present, it’s no surprise that all of undergarments worn failed to do their job. Because honestly, it’s not a messy office party until someone’s privates accidentally pop out of their clothing right, right? 

Professional money maker ($20 annually according to Forbes) and the miserable poster child Kristen Stewart brought home the female Lohan award for sloppy presentation when she flashed America (well at least a million of us) her nipples.

Her  team (aka sources close to Kristen) went into full court press immediately: “She is not worried about it. It’s not a big deal. If people want to see her naked, she’d rather it be from the movies she has done with nudity, but this happened and she has already forgotten about it…it’s certainly not the worst thing cameras have caught from her. Not a big deal at all.”

That quote brought a chuckle because the “worst thing cameras have caught” was getting caught Cheaters letting a married director snack on her in the front seat of his Mini Cooper.

Whatever her official reaction, one thing is for sure: Duchess Kate would not be pleased with her dress code faux pas.

Before the madness on the Red Carpet

JLo – in one of my best pictures ever

“I’ve got a blank space and I’ll write your name…”

Meghan Trainor delights with her lips purse

Stunning Selena

Izzy and JLo – candy-striped and bootylicious

So, Selena, is that Biebs trying behind the wall…?

Being in a bear suit on the red carpet is in a Coca-Cola bear costume is a whole lotta fun…

The post The Dress Code appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Has it been that long? Over a year since I grabbed my
sack…of mail? As usual, I resisted and resisted, but the mailbox is overflowing
and alas, you need answers. So, without fanfare, here are the highlights of genuine
emails from my irreverent readers.

The Selena Encounter: click here

1. Get permission (which you’re probably not going to do,
   so skip to No. 2).
2. Retweet without commentary.
3. Say you’re flattered, and be transparent.
4. If they ask you to take it down, take it down.

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