I just got back from a whirlwind tour of Finland (Kemi, Lapland, Helsinki) and Russia (Saint Petersburg, Moscow) and it’s time to get caught up. As you can see from the graphic, the call for ANDY Awards entries has been announced. As you know I am an award junkie so I am moving to get my entires into place to win this elusive award. I am sure there are plenty of you who have no idea what this award is, so here’s there elevator speech, “for 55 years the International ANDY awards have been known as the most sought-after awards for creative excellence in advertising.” Heady stuff for sure and prestigious in my industry. I want one and my three previous attempts have bore no fruit. I’m taking it seriously because the single entry cost is $1,500!

The quest for an ANDY made me assess my work against some of my contemporaries from the past year. You know what I found? I found a whole lot of campaigns that should have never been greenlit. They missed their mark or worse. You know I don’t have a Hall of Shame because I’m negative. I do it because the worse the ad, the greater the inspiration to be better; to do better. Also, some of the advertising SVPs need to call the Media Guy before they spend millions on a media buy to showcase bad work This is one of my independent new business pushes. I don’t charge a lot for a two-day consultation and the return on investment for the companies that do call is immense.

In 2016, I introduced my “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” columns where I implore tone-deaf ad men and women who don’t bother to focus group their advertising and I censure then why a call to me, the Media Guy, can save them some serious advertising budgets in bad publicity if they had only let me review their work first. The columns have proved to be reader favorites (you can catch up on past columns here):

Burger King
The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks
T-Mobile, Dove, and McDonald’s
Class of 2018 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees
The Best and the Worst of the Super Bowl LIII Commercials

I am sure you sit at home and wonder openly and loudly how ads such as these could ever wind up on television or in your online feeds. Some are so poorly thought out you have to say “how did this load of poop make it past their high-paid creatives. So despite my offer for inexpensive, yet sage consulting, there were companies and ad department that decided, “hey we got this!” and didn’t call the Media Guy. The ran with their great ideas and I’m here today to bash them a little bit by inducting them into my Media Guy Hall of Shame.

Before I do though, I want to run my annual PSA for those fools making ten times more than me in their lofty corner glass offices:

“Hello Chief Marketing Officers: you can’t see the forest among the trees. Call me. A small consulting check made out to me could save embarrassment and, also, potentially, your jobs. Swallow your pride and just do it!”

5. Peloton’s “The Gift That Gives Back”

Peloton decided to shame a thin woman’s journey to get, well, more thin and the world laughed at them. Others wagged their finger at them, especially the husband who obviously was a real winner as he made his wife check in daily with selfies and what not. In short, the campaign follows her through a yearlong selfie expedition as her dictatorish partner passive aggressively suggested that she needed more exercise.

4. Kia’s ‘The Niro Electrified Family”

Kia started off with a smart actor placement on the form of Robert DeNrio in this heavy power of puns spot aimed at promoting its electric e-Niro range. I’m sure that concept sounded good in the pitch session but the end product ended up like the agency chose to wing it without a script after into securing an Oscar winner. Sigh.

3. Snapchat’s “Would You Rather”

You have to be kidding me that this would happen in the current #MeToo climate. In 2009, Chris Brown decided to use Rihanna as a punching bag on the way to the Grammys. SnapChat decided they should make light of domestic abuse it, asking users to reveal whether they’d prefer to slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown. Snapchat responded saying the ad was the product of a third-party oversight intended to promote the company’s latest game, “Would You Rather.” I mean, really? No wonder SnapChat has fallen off the Earth.

2. Miele’s “International Women’s Day”

How do you celebrate modern women on International Women’s Day? By reinforcing the 1950s housewife stereotype. The appliances manufacturer probably thought it was cute to share an image of four white women excited over a washer and dryer, but completely missed the mark. Miele deleted the Facebook post a few hours later. Seriously Miele, you shouldn’t rely on old-fashioned stereotypes for your marketing. Know your target audience. Understand what drives them and use this information to inform your social media for business campaigns. It’s basic Marketing 101. One call to me and I would have told you that instead of you showing around the creative department and being pandered with a bunch of “great job”, “looks incredible”, and “you killed this!” comments I am sure you heard prior to giving the thumbs up to roll this out.

1. Oreo’s “First Christmas”

So it’s Christmas Eve and even though every kid’s parents leave milk and cookies by the fireplace, Santa is a glutton and needs more. [You know, I covered mean Santa before. He’s not so easy to work for…] At this point, he pulls over to a gas station and sends his first-day-on-the-job elf intern inside for some Oreos. (Yeah, yeah, bad day to start, but go with it, will ya?) Newbie elf grabs a Big Gulp of orange soda and several packages of Oreos (it’s clear he has no idea what glutton Santa is all about). Thankfully, dude at the cash wrap knows the deal and turns on the elf to his milk vault behind the counter which gains him a golden ticket to the Infamous Santa Xmas Rager. Cute idea, no? Exactly, NO! This entire spot smells of creepiness. Dimly lit with newbie elf is wearing way too much makeup. The guy behind the counter with the milk stash twists off the top of the Oreo and demonstrates the proper method to lick off the creme. Good gawd, too much information! All we need is the FBI to show up on December 26th in the epilogue to figure out what became of newbie elf who disappeared for an Oreo pit stop.

The post Class of 2019 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Tobacco has long been a fascination of mine. When I was growing up in the mid-70s, every magazine seemed to have a super cool cigarette ad with gorgeous, dynamic women and manly men. I learned that since the late 1700s, when the first tobacco advertisement appeared, tobacco manufacturers have been pioneers of advertising and marketing, revolutionizing the American way of doing business in the process.

It was hard to do any real research without the Internet and reference materials as a kid in the seventies, but I was obsessed to find out out the geniuses behind these campaigns. They were magic. Familiar. Aspiring. I mean, even Santa smoked for a while (and apparently they were easy on his throat). They gave me a taste of diversity and gender balance. They even introduced a certain sexiness usually reserved for the forbidden pages of Playboy.

I remember the buzz when President Nixon signed the measure banning cigarette advertising on radio and television around 1971 (yes, it was still buzzing a couple of years later, and yes, I am old…). My brothers in the broadcast industry lost $220 Million in ad revenue. The last commercial on US television was a Virginia Slims ad which aired January 1, 1971 at 11:59 PM on The Tonight Show. The ad featured model Veronica Hamel who was later seen on Hill St. Blues.

The Marlboro Man was in full glory by the middle of the decade and the magazine was the king of alcohol and tobacco ads. He was in every major magazine, in seemingly every Time, Newsweek, Sports Illustrated, along with dozens of other magazines.

Originally he was the Marlboro Cowboy who was created for Philip Morris by Chicago ad agency Leo Burnett. At the time, Marlboro held one quarter of 1% of the American market. Today, they own over 35% of the same market. I want to be that guy who develops genius like this. I guess there is still time.

Those guys turned out to be Philip Morris brand manager John Landry, along with Leo Burnett Creative Director Hal Weinstein and ad exec Don Tennant. Landry saw the brilliance of the Burnett team and wound up dominating Tobacco Mountain for decades. A New York Times article on Virginia Slim titled “WHY THEY STRETCHED THE SLIMS” is an amazing look inside the world of cigarette advertising.

Yet, I digress…

As I alluded above, the biggest-selling cigarettes of all time, Marlboros, were once were a minor brand, marketed toward women. Marlboro’s motto actually was “Mild as May” and their filters were red, to not show lipstick stains. Camels were king. But changes were happening that would make America Marlboro Country.

In the early 1950s, when the first reports linking smoking to lung cancer came out, some smokers felt betrayed by the established brands. Unable to quit altogether, some retaliated by switching brands. The Philip Morris Co. saw an opportunity to improve Marlboro’s pathetic market share. It didn’t take Tennant long to figure out that Marlboro’s previous ad campaigns ignored at least half the potential market. And what would make this woman’s cigarette more manly? Well, in a word: men. And the rest is advertising history.

After the TV ban you would have thought that the smoking would have gone down. It was quite the opposite. Gideon Doron’s 1979 article, How Smoking Increased When TV Advertising of Cigarettes
Was Banned, took us behind the curtain and showed us how such a thing could happen. Quite intriguing.

Regardless of how much the world has tried to stop the tobacco industry, they continue to thrive. So, without further ado, here’s a #TBT with a gallery of ads from days past.

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The challenging economy, a**holes, motherf***ers, moody clients, rodents and childish employees. The past year has been rough. It’s inspired forlorn days of old when life was easier.

I remember the sound of laughter. The world gave us hope and we helped the poor, lost children who only had decay as their toy. Imagine my joy when the opportunity to revisit my childhood appeared in the form of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. You know Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer don’t you? The long-running stop motion animation Christmas television special that first aired in 1964 on NBC? The one invented by Montgomery Ward ad men to fill the growing void of children’s holiday viewing? Yes, that’s the one.

A much needed boost was in order for the soul of the growing cynicism inside the Media Guy. What better than Santa and Rudolph to cheer a half-empty spirit? So following the sage advice of Sam the Snowman I pulled up an ice block and lent an ear.

So after 47 minutes of this beloved classic I just have to say, what the hell happened to the Santa Claus who used to warm the season? Seriously, as an adult pulling back the curtain to witness all of those behind the scenes Santa moments was absolutely terrifying.

Before I get to the main problem—namely Santa’s a complete douchebag here—there are so many other issues. Starting with the reindeer mocking [that seems outlandishly harsh by today’s PC standards], continuing with the out-of-place homosexual undercurrent of Hermey the Elf’s story [“I want to be a dentist.”] and finishing with the fascist Foreman Elf [who tells Hermey “You’ll never fit in! Now you come to elf practice, learn how to wiggle your ears, chuckle warmly, go hee-hee and ho-ho, and important stuff like that.”]. This is definitely not chicken soup for the soul.

Meanwhile, back to Bad Santa in the Elves Workshop. “Well, let’s get this over with,” he says to the little darlings as they try to sing the tune they wrote for him. A song coincidently about how they’re “his” elves. Instead of being a leader and embracing “his” elves, he’s defiant, uninterested and edgy while they’re giving it their all. Was it that much to fake a smile when these diminutive slave-toymakers are singing songs about how happy they are that you’re their master?

Wait, it gets worse…

…when the song is over and Mrs. Claus has the common courtesy to applaud them, Santa grimaces saying “Well, it needs work. I gotta go.” I’m still irritated at good ole Saint Nick for declaring “that silly elf song is driving me crazy” while he’s stuffing his face. Dude, no one’s forcing you to channel Ché Guevara here, but get real.

“How can I eat? That silly elf song is driving me crazy.”

Later on at the reindeer games, Rudolph is kicking some caribou butt. He’s doing it all while all the other young bucks are faceplanting in the winter wonderland. Here Santa starts off supportive, commending Rudolph, until the moment of truth: the red nose is exposed. After watching Rudolph get ridiculed by his “friends”, Machiavellian Santa gives it to Rudolph’s father Donner “…you ought to be ashamed of yourself…what a pity…he had a nice takeoff, too…” which leads to Comet the Coach declaring “From now on, we’re not going to let Rudolph join in any reindeer games…” Yes Virginia, Santa is a bigot.

All of this unhinged me. It had to be sorted out during my workout, which led to a virtual cornucopia of introspection:

1. Why is Clarice alarmingly hot? Not only does she have impressive forward thinking when it comes to Rudolph’s “shortcomings”, but she’s also got the best four-legged eyelashes in the history of stop animation.

2. What’s the deal with the tall elf? Is he a toy engineer? Did he intern at FAO Schwartz or Mattel? Why is he tall? Why isn’t Machiavelli Santa engineering a Tall Elf beat down by Fascist Foreman Elf?

3. The doll on the Island of Misfits; why is she there? She looks fine, but she had to be there for a reason. I’m guessing she’s a distant cousin to Frances Farmer awaiting some botched lobotomy. However you slice it, she needs more professional help other than what King Moon Racer has to offer.

4. Back to Clarice…is she an orphan? When Rudolph pulls his hobo act, Mr. and Mrs. Donner hit the snow trail looking for him, but when Clarice vanishes, we don’t even get the prerequisite parental phone call to the FBI. Are her parents on misfit island too and that’s why she understands Rudolph so well? 40 years of watching this and no answer to the Clarice dilemma.

5. Finally, why does Rudolph agree to guide Santa’s sleigh? Rudolph must really be something special, because when you are treated that way I’m guessing you are fantasizing about delivering a swift hoof to Santa’s marbles and not deliver presents. Really, there’s a serious storm out there. After all if you crash in the remote mountainous border between Argentina and Chile, Santa’s going buffet style on you to survive.

At the end of my workout, I didn’t get the answers I wanted. I have an eerie feeling that Santa’s a front runner and only happy when things are going his way. Maybe he has a chemical disorder. He’s probably bipolar. At the very least he’s exploiting the elves and Rudolph and itching to cancel Christmas because of some weather issues.

My Christmas wish is that the Fred Astaire version of Kris Kringle in “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” is treated kinder by time. And yes, my glass of soul is still half full.

To sum it all up:

UPDATE: December 6, 2018
Anti-Bullying from Inside Edition:

Although this report came eight years after my original post, the mainstream media is picking up on my message:

Inside Edition
Published on Dec 1, 2018
Many grew up loving “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer,” but now the holiday classic is at the center of a political correctness battle. “RudolphTheRedNosedReindeer teaching kids since 1964 that your peers will only accept your differences if you can provide them with some kind of service,” went one tweet. The 1964 movie was viewed by 8.14 million viewers when it aired on CBS this week. The HuffPost shared a video highlighting some of the gripes, calling the classic “seriously problematic.”

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