That was a neat little trick you pulled off on my recent flight. I mean pull around the coffee, tea, and juice service cart and ask politely if I want an ice cold Coca-Cola or perhaps a zumo de manzana so fresh I’d feel like I picked it myself and ran it through my Jack LaLanne juicer.

Instead I sifted through the dozen or so offerings and opted for Nescafé espresso with milk. “Espresso” I thought….what a nice treat on my quick international commuter flight. Ah to be on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées nursing my espresso at a sidewalk cafe as tourists from around the globe carrying their fancy Louis Vuitton and Givenchy shopping bags paraded in front of me to their next stops in their retail debauchery sojourns.

Yes, Iberia, you had me at “Nescafé” as I mentally locked arms with George Clooney and Penelope Cruz preparing to sip the smooth java gold that only this instant brand can deliver.

Then, Iberia, you cut me down to earth in second. As if being sliced effortlessly by a matador’s sabre in Madrid’s legendary bull ring you struck! After serving my espresso, the bad news was delivered: “Five Euros, please…” Imagine my look of astonishment as I fished out my Euro coins, scrambling to find the right combination to equal the magic number that had wrestled me from my daydream with those beautiful Oscar winners.

I mean, really, Iberia?

Charging for drinks without alcohol?

This is a new twist on squeezing revenue out of your passengers. At least announce it in Spanish over the intercom so it gives the illusion there was fair warning. What was I supposed to do after it was served? Refuse to pay? What kind of entitled American traveler would attempt that? (Probably a lot, but not me…) I paid while the empathetic flight attendant embraced me in a way only a mature, seasoned air hostess could while reaching into your wallet for five Euros.

At the end of it, I sipped on those four ounces of heaven and toasted to George and Penelope. I’d like to think no they toasted back. 

The post The Saga of the Five Euro Nescafé appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

“In the fall of 2017, when we celebrate the 100th birthday of the NHL, we will do so as a League of 31 teams,” NHL commissioner Gary Bettman said in a statement. “We are pleased to welcome Bill Foley and the city of Las Vegas to the League and are truly excited that an NHL franchise will be the first major professional sports team in this vibrant, growing, global destination city.”

“Foley paid the $500 million expansion fee to bring NHL hockey to Las Vegas, and the announcement is the culmination of two years of hard work that included a successful season-ticket drive to prove local interest.”

With that report, I begin my open letter to current NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman and new Las Vegas hockey club owner Bill Foley…

Dear Gary and Bill:

You don’t know me, but maybe you should.

I realize why you jumped into the Las Vegas market and I’m proud.

I remember fifteen years ago when your old partner, Fox Television was struggling with their primetime lineup. Their top rated show was The Simpsons and it was ranked 39th for the four major networks. Along came the pitch for American Idol. All of the networks were pitched — ABC, NBC, CBS. They all said “no.” Fox said “we need a hit” “we need something different. Fox said “yes.” And did they ever get a hit (* – see ratings at the bottom). I know you are trying to do what the other three big sports have shunned over the years: bring a major sport to Sin City.

I am not so sure, however, if Las Vegas is the jackpot you are seeking. But here’s what’s happening to your sport right now…

…the Stanley Cup Final, with arguably the best player in your league in Sidney Crosby? Nobody watched.

You’re losing ground, big-time, to soccer, which is now on five networks. Interest has never been higher with networks bidding left and right for the rights to games. Soccer video sales through the roof. Soccer buzz off the charts. Soccer media coverage at an all-time high. In all aspects, it’s blown past hockey. The truth is, as painful as someone who has grown up around the rink, nobody wants hockey.

Even the UFC is getting bigger (or already is) than hockey. They create stars with every event (Connor McGregor, Ronda Rousey, Meisha Tate, Nate Diaz). People pay $50 to $90 per event on pay-per-view to watch their monthly fight cards. As many people that paying to watch the UFC are watching the NHL payoff games for free. ESPN and FOX are already preparing bids to televise the UFC when the contracts come up in 2018. UFC has also blown past hockey in terms of relevance.

What’s the solution? Las Vegas, of course.

Vegas is where you go to spice things up. It’s where you go to spice up your marriage, your relationships, your bachelor parties, your conventions…and your hockey.

You needed to make some noise and it makes you willing to roll the dice. You needed to get their first. You have a state-of-the-art facility in the T-Mobile Arena. Major League Soccer has explored putting a team there. The NFL has been talking about the Raiders to Vegas for months. NBA Commissioner Adam Silver has publicly advocated regulating professional sports betting. Even Major League Baseball, who remains scarred by gambling scandals has talked about Vegas in the last week. You simply said, hmmmmmm, Quebec City or Las Vegas? No brainer, let’s beat them all to the punch. Las Vegas it is.

I know you are pleased with a few things. Gary, that $500 million expansion fee will please your 30 other owners. And Billy, you have to be thrilled about the 14,000 fans that have placed deposits on season tickets and the prospects of working with MGM Resorts (who built T-Mobile Arena) on providing comp tickets to fill the place up each night. But these are short-term solutions.

Guys, please give The Media Guy a call. I sketched out five-year plan for the growth of hockey in the desert. I learned from the great Jack Kent Cooke about what NOT to do for hockey in the Sunbelt states and since garnered a couple of CLIOs and Emmys, along with nine or so Telly Awards.

Not to brag, but I can help.

You need more than just a hockey guy to navigate through the expansion draft. You need another perspective. This is where I come in. Let me share this with you.

The future Las Vegas Ice Crew?

As a freebie, I am throwing some ideas, courtesy of the Idea Man in Training, my son Josh. While he aspires to be the first Academy Award winner that becomes an FBI agent, he has a unique insight into the souls of youthful America.

Here is some of his vision to connect with the fans:

• The goal horn. They could be super original and not have a horn, and instead have a man scream “Jackpot” and have the sound of coins falling out of the slot machine.
• The logo could be very simple — an “LV” crossing a pile of chips and cards. (I don’t feel like it should be too complex as the best logos in the NHL are simple but powerful…the Kings, Blackhawks, Penguins.) I also don’t feel they should hammer home the fact they’re a hockey team like the Sharks do by shoehorning a stick into the logo.
• The Ice crew should dress like the showdancers Las Vegas has.
• National Anthem. Since Vegas has a lot of famous singers, they could work out a deal with them and have a rotating cycle of the performers there singing the national anthem.
• The mascot should be an animal or a being not in the NHL already. It should stand out in a sense, but also embody the wild hectic nature of Las Vegas. Maybe a sphinx or a Flamingo because they’re showy colorful and bright similar to Las Vegas.
• The puck shouldn’t be like any normal puck. It should literally just look like poker chip.
• Get the Blue Man Group to perform pre-game, turn the plaza outside T-Mobile into an outdoor club before, during, and after the game. Go the whole nine yards with a DJ and free-flowing alcohol.

Maybe you like these ideas, maybe you don’t. I will reveal the points addressed in my five-year plan when we meet; most you probably already realize, but do not know how to overcome them. After all, being an investment tycoon is different than reaching the hockey fan and the fan-at-large simultaneously. Hockey is not diverse in an ever-increasing diverse world. The product is not good on television, when sports these days is all about TV. Nobody bets the sport in an increasingly betting-centric country. And, it’s very expensive and few play it. Yes, there’s work to do!

Let’s roll up our sleeves one afternoon and dig into the plan.

You won’t regret it.

And, please, even if you won’t call, don’t let the fans name your team in some silly contest. You’ll wind up with the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim or something like that. No one wants that.

I look forward to your call.

Warm regards,
MICHAEL

Michael Lloyd, The Media Guy

Mr. Bettman…Call me!

The post An Open Letter to the NHL appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

An open letter to Greg Creed, Chief Executive Officer and President of Taco Bell:

What the hell happened to you on your way to the Pantheon of Advertising? I just can’t keep quiet anymore. Their latest spots practically made me throw up in my mouth. Have you seen the latest in a long string of commercial disasters?

Their latest shows a well-dressed dude in a vest, looking like kind of a G and he’s out at a nice dinner at an upper end steakhouse. He’s with another couple, two attractive women and some dudes. This guy is sitting there with his 1990’s vest… I just can’t get over the stylist who decided a vest was just the ticket for wardrobe here. Yet I digress.

Anyway, he’s looking at a big, beautiful leather menu that no doubt has some big, beautiful cuts of beef that we all enjoy as big, beautiful Americans and he shakes his head, almost saying “screw this…” Then what does he do? He gets out of the booth and goes to Taco Bell and gets steak nachos.

I mean really? He’s going to close that menu and dismiss the company he’s with, step out with his 1993 and order steak nachos? Even the 2:00 A.M. potheads are insulted with this one!

So what are you trying to sell Taco Bell? Rudeness? That your steak nachos are the equivalent substitute for a nice steakhouse? This has to rank as one of the worst commercials ever.  How is Taco Bell going to make money with this ad? After thirty very long seconds witnessing this debacle of advertising, two words popped into my mind: Sista, PLEASE!

Taco Bell has really jumped the shark lately with their advertising campaigns. From the Lamar Odom / Charles Barkley commercial to this new guy, it’s been horrific. Remember that clueless guy they had a while back? The one who thought he had the inside track on the super inexpensive 7-layer burrito? “Hey…uh, is Janine working tonight? Can I talk to her?” How about that indie rock kid in the Volvo station wagon? The one who drive nine hundred miles for a Doritos taco? Can you imagine the ad execs brainstorming this out?:

     Taco Bell Ad Exec 1: Hey, if we can get the message across that this taco is so good that it’s worth driving 900 miles…

     Taco Bell Ad Exec 2: …Oh my! That’s brilliant!

     Taco Bell Ad Exec 1 and Ad Exec 2 (in unison): Everyone will make a run for the border!

What Happened To You Taco Bell? You used to have something! Remember when Gidget, the Taco Bell Chihuahua, used to demand, “Yo quiero Taco Bell!”? Or when the big bell bonged imploring you to “Run for the Border”? Now those were Pantheon-worthy commercials.

Taco Bell, sigh. Was it lightning in a bottle? Were you a two hit wonder? How did you lose your way?

Easily, they have the worst commercials for any fast food restaurants on the planet. Yeah, yeah, you’re going to hit me with the Carl’s Jr. “…if it doesn’t get all over your face…” spots, but I have no issue there. It speaks to their audience who want big, messy burgers and they are quite comical and sexy. Yet I digress again.

Mr. Creed, please give The Media Guy a call. I sketched out five ad concepts on the back of a napkin that I’d like to share with you. And I didn’t need to wear my vest to think outside the bun.

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