I know what you are saying right now, “Blah, blah, blah Media Guy…get
to the freaking point.”

Okay, okay, sorry for digressing right at the start.

I ran into the talented and charming Ryan Stout. He’s a comedian who
has made it to the big time on Comedy Central. H couldn’t resist telling me
about what happened on a recent flight.

RYAN STOUT: I had a situation at the airport flying out of the country.

MEDIA GUY: What happened?

RS: There was a man getting on my flight. He only had one arm; just
one.

MG: You mean like Dr. Richard Kimble?

RS: No, nothing like that. But he only had one arm. The arm, right at
the shoulder, completely gone. No nub, no nothing. 

MG: Were you in danger?

RS: Quite the opposite. I’m watching him get on the plan, and all I could
think was, “Please let me sit next to him.”

MG: Did you?

RS: I did! Wrong side. 

Believe me when I tell you he fought for the armrest! He fought for it.
I can’t believe he didn’t want the window seat. Ruuuuuuuuude.

MG: How rude was he?

RS: I said to myself, “Oh great, I guess it’s my job to help with
someone’s oxygen mask.” Then about half way through the flight, he said “do you
know what the dinner is?” To which I replied, “cheese ravioli or braised
chicken. Say if you get the chicken do I have to help you cut it?” He was taken
aback, so I decided to make small talk. “Are you a big Def Leppard fan?”

MG: You didn’t…

RS: I did! But this is where I lucked out, because the one-armed man
was not into chit-chat and that’s a good thing because if he wanted to
introduce himself [chuckles] I was not shaking that hand. Because chances
are…it’s not very clean.

MG: Oh my.

RS: No, that’s not a disgusting joke. I mean how do you wash one hand?
That’s all I’m asking how do you do it? You get a little soap and then what?
How do you get the back? How do you scrub the knuckles?

You’re looking at me funny? I just want a few answers and I’m tired of
the judgment.

MG: There’s no judgment really…

RS: The one-armed man is a tricky situation and I know what you’re
thinking. We’re quick to label.  We’re
very quick to label as a country.  Like
you steal a few office supplies, now all of the sudden you’re “unemployed.” You
refused to pay for sex, now you’re that “broke honky.” You forget to pull out
one time and now you’re the “father.”

MG: So you’re saying beware of one-armed men on airline flights?

RS: I know you want to clap for me right now for bringing this thinking
to light. But the one-armed people don’t like the clapping. They give it one-thumbs-down.
That’s the lowest score you can give.

————–

Honestly that was the funniest, politically incorrect
conversation I’ve had in a decade. I laughed all the way to the AMAs.
Here’s a few highlights…a link to the story that was filed (sorry I was a photographer only) and link to my photography handiwork. 

 See all my pictures on Instagram by following me here.