It’s late and I’m polishing my running diary for tonight’s Los Angeles Kings game against the Arizona Coyotes. It’s been a struggle this season in my first year as a moonlighting sportswriter. The Kings are really bad and coach is worse. How bad is he? He’s so bad that I penned letters to him and then to his boss, general manager Rob Blake. That one took a lot for me because I would never want anyone complaining to my bosses. As far as I know, no one has ever complained about me in writing. Hopefully that streak continues.

Also, I am still waiting for Dr. Peter Lam, Chairman of the Hong Kong Tourism Board, or their executive director Anthony Lau, to call me to sort out the disaster that is their “Treasures of the Heart” tourism commercial.

Inspired by the awfulness of the Hong Kong Tourism Board, I’ve unearthed a handful of truly horrendous tourism campaigns…

Barcelona

This ancient Barcelona video showcases every fountain in the land. And here you though they were only known for their food, beaches, Gaudi architecture, and pickpockets.

Canada

Once upon a time a photobombing squirrel made big news in the Great White North. So, of course the marketing folks at Banff Lake Louise Tourism rushed a commercial to air touting its national park. Needless to say this didn’t age well. Now, or then.

Latvia

Here, the inability of Latvians to communicate without a huge supply of napkins and tomato ketchup is showcased. Also showcased is awkward couple flirts, the cheap beer, and bad waiter haircuts.

Miami Beach

In 1970, Miami Beach jumped into the colorful advertising gimmick game first launched by Mary Wells Lawrence for Braniff.

I’m red, I love…
I’m yellow, I groove…
I’m blue, I appreciate…
There’s one place where colors and people best come together – Miami Beach!

This is opening of the original meandering infomercial type (13+ minutes long) featuring a shameless number of good looking, eyebrow raising women in front of roaring fires and reclining beds.

Massachusetts

In the 1980s, Massachusetts dreamed up this classic showcasing New Englanders living in harmony. However bad the spot is, it features maybe the best tourism jingle ever:

This spot was so bad good that it was lampooned by Family Guy:

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