Laptop Hobos Archives - Media Guy Struggles https://mediaguystruggles.com/category/laptop-hobos/ The Media Guy. Screenwriter. Photographer. Emmy Award-winning Dreamer. Magazine editor. Ad Exec. A new breed of Mad Men. Mon, 09 Jan 2017 02:04:00 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://mediaguystruggles.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/07/MEDIA-GUY-1-100x100.png Laptop Hobos Archives - Media Guy Struggles https://mediaguystruggles.com/category/laptop-hobos/ 32 32 221660568 Eavesdropping at the 2017 Golden Globes https://mediaguystruggles.com/eavesdropping-at-the-2017-golden-globes/ https://mediaguystruggles.com/eavesdropping-at-the-2017-golden-globes/#respond Mon, 09 Jan 2017 02:04:00 +0000 http://mediaguystruggles.com/2017/01/09/eavesdropping-at-the-2017-golden-globes/ Okay, so where am I? Before I get to that, allow me to go back to my Café Squatters story for just a minute and talk about this woman on the left. The New York style work area table at Starbucks meant to house 8-10 people was relatively full as I try feverishly to finish […]

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Okay, so where am I?

Before I get to that, allow me to go back to my Café Squatters story for just a minute and talk about
this woman on the left. The New York style work area table at Starbucks meant to house 8-10 people was relatively full as I try feverishly to finish this column after retouching hundreds of photos for my Golden Globes assignment. There was an empty spot, so I asked her if that seat was taken. Her reply was that she was using the seat and spot…for a foot rest. It takes all kinds these days.

So know you know that I am (or was) at the Beverly Hilton on the red carpet basking in the wacky opulence known as the Golden Globes. Most of you already know that La La Land won Best Motion Picture and Brad Pitt made a surprise n stage appearance on stage to the delight of the crowd. But, as you know, all of the real fun happens off camera, including Justin Timberlake making sure the drinks were flowing and Kurt Russell and Jeff Bridges exchanging phone numbers.

On the carpet, Justin Timberlake holds wife Jessica Biel’s hand while she chats with with Amy Adams’ husband, Darren Le Gallo. Designer Tom Ford hugs Timberlake who tells him: “The only reason I ever look nice is I learned to dress from you.” Meanwhile Timberland tries to make an exit inside. “Find us!” Biel tells Le Gallo as they depart

The Golden Ticket.

Laurence Fishburne tries to get past security and then notices he doesn’t have his ticket. He calls someone on his phone, in a mock (?) panic “I have no idea where my ticket is or is supposed to be.”

Kerry Washington introduces her husband, Nnamdi Asomugha, to Stranger Things‘ Millie Bobby Brown. “I told you about him at the party,” Washington tells Brown. “He’s such a big fan of yours!”

One half of Hollywood’s most beautiful couple, Blake Lively, cheers for the other half, Ryan Reynolds as he stands from the table to present the night’s first award. He accidentally knocks into her updo, but it doesn’t moved. She’s a goddess, that’s why.

Justin Timberlake pours a glass of vino for everyone at his table then offers the bottle to Felicity Jones. Meanwhile, as his wife and best actress nominee Annette Bening stands from the table, Warren Beatty kisses her cheek and says, “You look beautiful!” Seeing Denzel Washington’s wife and her pal, Pauletta, Bening goes over and gives her a hug and kiss.

Kerry Washington with a young fan.

In the press room, Billy Bob Thornton gestures toward the microphone manager and quips, “That’s quite a pole you got there!” That’s something coming from the polemaster. Thornton is super humble, looking cool and mellow wearing his shades inside. After taking home one of the fist-sized trophies, he thanked the Hollywood Foreign Press for choosing him over Better Call Saul’s Bob Odenkirk.

The feeling never gets old! After nabbing the award for her role in The People v. O.J. Simpson: American Crime Story, Sarah Paulson steps off stage and admits, “I’m shaking!” She takes a photo but is distracted when she hears more cheering. “Did the show just win?” she asks. Indeed, the hit earns a Best Limited Series and Paulson heads right back on stage.

Yours truly.

Oooooops? While posing for a picture off stage with Amy Schumer and Ryan Gosling, Goldie Hawn jokingly falls onto the hunky La La Land actor, “She fell into his nook and giggled!”

Back in the press room, Viola Davis says the night will wrap too late for her to squeeze in jacuzzi time. She report that she’ll celebrate her Fences best supporting actress win with hubby and a glass of Prosecco at home.

In the press room, Nocturnal Animals best supporting actor winner Aaron Taylor-Johnson is cut off as the audio feed switches over to Ryan Gosling’s acceptance speech. Taylor-Johnson stood there awkwardly holding his award then left, but no hard feelings: “Gosling amazing!” he says.

Someone accidentally steps on Anna Kendrick’s Vionnet dress, which prompts the actress to question her decision: “Why do I wear a dress with a train? Every year I ask myself this.” After she loses, Rachel Wood heads straight for the bar outside the ballroom. Bottoms up!

HBO Invite 🙂

There were some good zingers last night. Here’s some of the highlights:

“The film Florence Foster Jenkins is nominated. The character has been dubbed the world’s worst opera singer and even she turned down performing at Donald Trump’s inauguration.”
-Jimmy Fallon in his opening monologue

“Thank you, first of all, to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association for this amazing honour. I suppose it’s made more amazing by the fact that I’ll be able to say that I won this at the last ever Golden Globes. I don’t mean to be gloomy. It’s just that it has the words ‘Hollywood,’ ‘foreign,’ and ‘press’ in the title.”
-Hugh Laurie wins best supporting actor in a TV drama

“You make me proud to be an artist. You make me feel that what I have in me – my body, my face, my age – is enough.”
Viola Davis introduces Meryl Streep

“Hollywood is crawling with outsiders and foreigners, and if you kick us all out, you’ll have nothing to watch except for football and mixed martial arts, which are not arts.”
-Meryl Streep picks up the Cecil B DeMille lifetime achievement award

“This is for all the women, women of color, and colorful people, whose stories, ideas and thoughts are not always considered worthy and valid and important. But I want you to know that I see you. We see you.”
-Tracee Ellis Ross wins best comedy actress

“It’s not a problem. A dead bird never leaves its nest.”
-John Lithgow channels Winston Churchill when he realizes his zipper is undone

“While I was singing and dancing and playing piano and having one of the best experiences I ever had on a film, my lady was raising our daughter, pregnant with our second, and trying to help her brother fight his battle with cancer. If she hadn’t taken all that on so that I could have this experience, there would surely be someone else up here other than me today. So sweetheart, thank you.”
-Ryan Gosling thanks Eva Mendes in his best actor speech

“Take your broken heart, make it into art.”
-Meryl Streep quotes late friend Carrie Fisher

“I’ve been to the Globes six times, and I’ve worn a dress every time. And I love dresses. I’m not trying to protest dresses. But I wanted to make sure that young girls and women know that they aren’t a requirement. And you don’t have to wear one if you don’t want to. And to just be yourself because your worth is more than that. So, I said, this year I’m going homage to Marlene Dietrich and Victor/Victoria and David Bowie, because it’s his birthday.”
-Evan Rachel Wood on the red carpet.

The Red Carpet Gallery
Justin Timberland and Jessica Biel – the drinking couple.
Radiant in yellow: Emily Ratajkowski
Gosling: A good year to be a Ryan in Hollywood.
Ryan (Reynolds) and Blake Lively: The most beautiful couple in Hollywood.
She’s a goddess.
There was a lot of free Fiji water. Kristen Bell is no dummy.
Monica Bellucci is 52 which makes me look 70!
Sofia Vergara – always the best part of the red carpet.
Mel Gibson hits the red carpet with pregnant girlfriend Rosalind Ross.
Lovely Drew Barrymore
Why oh why do you wear the dress train every year, Anna?
Who doesn’t have a crush on Amy Adams?
Adams with Arrival co-star Jeremy Renner.
Benning and Beatty – still looking good.
Only they could make us roots for the Russians (serious watch the Amerikans!).
Jonah Hill lives THE LIFE! Hanging with Ryan G. and nominated for Oscars. #Dreams
Sansa is all grown up now! 
Travolta and Paulsen: It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
Priyanka Chopra and Jeffrey Dean Morgan: Dirty Jokes Backstage.
Viola Davis: No time for wine…

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Café Squatters https://mediaguystruggles.com/cafe-squatters/ https://mediaguystruggles.com/cafe-squatters/#respond Sun, 27 Nov 2016 22:42:00 +0000 http://mediaguystruggles.com/2016/11/27/cafe-squatters/ Café Squatters. Coffee Shop Campers. Laptop Hobos.  The Office Nomad. Have you noticed them? Before I get into my rant and need to meet with a random Japanese TV exec or South Korean producer at a local eatery without finding a seat amongst those stealing free WiFi that’s included with your $2.65 Venti, let me […]

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Café Squatters.
Coffee Shop Campers.
Laptop Hobos. 
The Office Nomad.

Have you noticed them?

Before I get into my rant and need to meet with a random Japanese TV exec or South Korean producer at a local eatery without finding a seat amongst those stealing free WiFi that’s included with your $2.65 Venti, let me say first that I have written a screenplay or two at my local Starbucks. 

Guilty as charged.

But today…

Well, today I went into my local Corner Bakery for a quick lunch — or should I say attempted lunch? — and wound up wandering around looking for a table. 

None were available.

Wah-wah-waaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Why?

Because half of the tables have been annexed by local suburban squatters who decided that any place with free WiFi is the perfect spot for an ad hoc Regus office. These “patrons” were done eating…if they ever ate at all. They’re simply sitting there rat-a-tat-tatting on their laptops and electronic notepads turning our shared public space into their personal office, oblivious and uncaring that their misplaced multi-tasking has become a public nuisance. 

Ever tried to sit down at a Starbucks these days to enjoy a smooth Christmas Blend and read your New York Times (yes, they still sell newspapers there!)?  You can’t find a seat. Why? All of the tables have been claimed in the epidemic known as the Invasion of the Laptops. 

There are two places you should be using your laptop for business or pleasure: work or home. Period. 

Before our mobile society took over, you never saw anyone lugging a manual typewriter into McDonald’s or the little café adjacent to your office. No one sat in the booth in the back tapping out letters, homework or their next big idea. So why now? Why are we doing it with a WiFi version of a typewriter?

Some people don’t even rent office space anymore. Why bother? Check out the business card from the next consultant you meet for convenience at Coffee Bean. Could it be their address is actually there? 

They made it cool to hang out at the coffee shop all day…sigh.
A majority of the people who squat aren’t even working on anything important. They have grown up believing that being seen in public or a laptop conveys intelligence. They want you to believe they are doing some kind of think tank analysis when instead they are watching rejected cat memes on the America’s Funniest Home Video youtube channel.  You see these same people constant on their smartphones as well, showcasing they are always in demand.  

We need to strike a deal here. 

No one is saying that you can’t drink your custom crafted espresso delight and mix in a spinach feta wrap, and soak up the bandwidth. You should. I have. however, if you know you’re no longer consuming, you’re essentially using the space as a library. You know what you should do? You should pick up your stuff and relocate to an actual library. The Gods will not somehow forsake your creative juices if you’re working on being the next Woody Allen while crafting your screenplay. 

And no, by relocating to a public space that actually has their arms outstretched waiting for you, you’re not sacrificing meeting the love of your life by serendipity on the way to the restroom. Look for your soulmate on your own time. As Jeff Spicoli says, this is our time.”  


So, hit the bricks.

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