In the seventies, the normal fare on my eight channels was reruns (it wasn’t called syndication yet)—Bewitched, I Love Lucy, The Original Mickey Mouse Club, I Dream of Jeannie, The Brady Bunch—and it got to the point where I knew the dialog from every show cold. But I didn’t watch to see what a moron Darrin Stephens or Major Nelson were or witness Lucille Ball’s physical comedy. I watched for the commercials.

I jumped at every opportunity to see more commercials, study the messaging, learn more about the lighting and camera angles. Little did anyone know that the television was more than a mindless brain drain, but rather a series of seminars I built for myself in that empty apartment that would be the backbone of my future career.

My self-educated study of advertising was better than anything I learned at UCLA or any subsequent continuing education classes I still take. When we would visit my uncle, who was in the ad game, I would smuggle extra copies of Advertising Age and (later) Adweek from his office so I could learn even more about the business and the creative process, always looking to get to the next level. I distinctively remember being captivated by Madge, the Palmolive manicurist, who had a gift of the gab and forced her clients to soak their hands in dishwashing liquid while doing their nails.

That advertising was effective and I begged my mom and dad in separate households to buy Palmolive instead of the other Brand X. I had to negotiate for it, even committing to do the dishes at age seven. Did them I did and yes my hands remained soft and I never had “dishpan hands.” And then, the commercial that stopped me in my tracks, aired one fateful afternoon.

It was a seminal moment for me. Maybe it was the perfect script or perhaps it was the freckle-faced kid with the same name as me. But whatever it was, I remember exact the time I watching this new spot in an awe-inspired trance in that Inglewood apartment. As an only child, I was captivated by the camaraderie at the breakfast table. As a kid of divorced parents, I was amazed there was time for breakfast debates, or that there was even a breakfast. I loved the announcer’s manipulative script and authoritative tone directing parents to manipulate their households that something good for you was actually delicious. I must have watched that commercial 20-30 times that weekend, taking in the nuances of the edit, studying every aspect of it including writing down every word in my black notebook with fresh college-rule paper.

Seeing this spot opened my eyes to the fact that you have to find that amazing idea and drive it with a powerful narrative for anything to truly become special. From a production perspective, I appreciated the meticulously detailed cut and as an ardent viewer, I was convinced that this was one seamless take that built all the way through the debate, the first taste of cereal and climaxing with the “He likes it! Hey Mikey!” What kept me coming back for more was that the momentum didn’t ease with the kids. The announcer played us all like puppets with his crafty delivery that drove you to the final framed shot of the cereal box. Brilliance in thirty seconds.

On Monday, I went to school and everyone ruined it. It seems my entire class had seen this commercial and convinced themselves I was the real Mikey. “He likes it! Hey Mikey!” echoed the hallways for a solid month. It was not was I was looking for in life at that time. I never did try Life Cereal but it was that experience that convinced me that it was me who had to craft the commercials. From the writing of the spot to the actual directing of them. It was a must and so I official began my journey.

As I aged and the innocence of the spot gave way to sexier ways to incite a surge of adrenaline that I could encapsulate into my own work became my calling card. Each spot I contrive takes a boutique agency approach working closely with clients to ensure I’m not just checking boxes and running through the motions, but crafting something that will catch the attention of today’s constantly changing audiences. Here’s the latest series of “Long Man” commercials produced for Sakeru Gummys in Japan…

Who knew that all of this could grow from cereal and dishwashing soap commercials?

The post The Inspiration of Mikey appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

I’m on a conference call with the big bosses of Strong Zero based in Tokyo trying to get them to change the radio ad that I penned. Why should I campaign for change? Take a look at the television version they made:

This is definitely NOT what I had in mind when they said they would float me an extra $800 in royalties for the added exposure on TV…Ugh…

All of this got me thinking about what makes a great radio ad. I have written nearly 100 radio commercials over the years. Some were great. Some were smart. Some were shlock. Nearly all worked and the clients were happy.

Why were they good? Well, I use a few principles that guide good copy. Take a journey with me…

A barn.
Blue skies.
A horse running through the fields.

A great image just came to your mind reading those words, right? But what color was the barn – red? What color was the horse – brown, white, black, spotted? And while the horse was running through the fields under the blue skies, was it a winter day with snow on the ground or were there wild flowers growing. Whatever your answer was, it doesn’t matter. The image that came to mind was relevant to you and that is the power of radio commercials.

Therein lies the the secret formula: regardless of who you speak to and who works on creating radio ads, they all share the same thought – ads on radio always tell a story and, if done well, it’s memorable.

When working on radio ads, here are some quotes that can help you remember what makes great radio.

“Speak softly…” While that may be a portion of President Roosevelt’s memorable phrase, it can also apply as advice if you want to get the listener’s attention. You could yell, and that might get the listener to remember you – remember that they don’t like you.

“I get no respect.” Yes, that’s a famous Rodney Dangerfield line and when he said it, it made people laugh. Humor doesn’t always work, and in fact it is difficult to pull off so you have to do it right.

“You really like me!” Sally, who wouldn’t like you? And like Sally Field, making sure that listeners like your commercials means that they will remember the message you send.

“I have a dream.” Those were the words of Martin Luther King.  Those words drive a strong and emotional reaction today as they did back in 1963.  Radio ads should always prompt an emotion – whether it is sad, funny, happy, etc.

“Rome was not built in a day.” Writing great radio takes time, patience, and work. Sometimes things that look good on paper may not sound.

“Tried and true.” Just because it’s been used before doesn’t mean it works. Keep away from clichés.

“If you build it, they will come.” Putting together a script for a great radio ad is good but why stop there? Make it great by putting just as much work into producing it as you did creating it.  You can’t fake the sound of someone running when creating a sneaker commercial.  It’s not believable and they won’t buy the product.  Now, have someone really run while speaking.  It takes it to a whole new level.

What is the most powerful use of sound?  Silence.  Sometimes the most effective sound is no sound at all.  It causes the listener to “lean in” and really hear the message.  When it comes to radio creative, silence really can be golden.


AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER
Radio will surpass newspapers in local ad revenue by 2021

Usually I bring you a clever new or TBT ad to spark nostalgia or your creative energy. But today, I couldn’t resist telling you that radio is growing again! A new report from industry giant BIA/Kelsey foretells digital ad spending for local radio stations will increase with the fastest growing segment not being over the air, but rather on digital platforms.

BIA/Kelsey’s 2017 Investing in Radio report details that the 2016 digital advertising income of U.S. radio stations was up 14 percent. Online radio includes locally targeted online streaming advertising on services like Pandora as well as online properties of over-the-air stations.

The report found that by 2021, radio will surpass newspapers and become the fifth-largest media category among advertisers. Over-the-air income raked in the biggest piece of the pie at over $14 billion.

“In an age where consumers have many entertainment choices, local radio maintains its strength and popularity in the marketplace among national and local advertisers,” said Mark Fratrik, SVP and chief economist at BIA/Kelsey.

Direct mail remains the most lucrative segment of local ad spending. Radio revenue is expected to hit $14.9 billion this year, and by 2021, it will top $16 billion, according to the report.

The news-talk category wins the most improvement category with robust presidential campaign spending taking Washington DC’s WTOP to the top spot with $67 million in revenues. $67 million? Who know that local radio could generate like this?

The post Radio Ads: The Secret Formula appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

“Paint the wall red and I’ll see if I like it…” 

So starts the long journey of getting the Media Guy Struggles green lit as a pilot or even a bona fide television show.

Okay, so where am I?

The table reading is kind of like painting the wall red and seeing if the powers to be like it. The actors and actresses have to put on a fabulous show for my would-be Japanese producers. The producers were so enthusiastic about the prospects of a Media Guy Struggles television show that they financed a day-long event with out-of-work actors looking for pocket change and a shot to add a pilot to their IMDB profiles.

So what’s the Media Guy Struggles about, you ask? What was the tasty pitch that whetted the appetite of Far East producersenough to put together a full cast to hear a table read?

(Hmmmmmm…I hesitate to put this online for anyone to take as muse, but since it’s registered with the Writer’s Guild of America (WGA Registration Number: 1489628), I feel safe that there is a measure of recourse to force intellectual thieves to put me on a show as an Executive Producer at the very least.)

Well…

The Media Guy Struggles can best be described as Mad Men meets The Office with a touch of Ballers mixed in. Being the Media Guy isn’t easy for (loosely) fictional Alex Logan, aged 42, Vice President of Media (aka The Media Guy) at the (loosely) fictional Larger Than Life advertising agency. As the Media Guy struggles to balance office politics and the new conflicts of social media vs. traditional media, he’s haunted that after 25 years of traveling the globe as a premium ad man, the landscape is changing. 

With a skeptical eye and a 10,000-foot perspective on the world, Logan believes he has all of the answers for all things media and advertising related—and he usually does with the help of his faithful associates and his best friend. With the respect of the office and their off-beat client base, what could possibly go sideways for the Media Guy? Things get nervous, and hilarious, when hits the road in this unfiltered, self-analyzing look at advertising along with the media and the madcap workforce that drives it. 

With three degrees, 20 years on the job and witty personality, the Media Guy has life at the agency wired. That is until life’s minutiae gets in the way. Things like Arrogant Bob from accounting’s per diem denial, the dreaded networking event, running into old crushes, contemplating new secret identities, channeling Jane Goodall’s Tanzanian monkeys, the battle to compartmentalize life’s segments, the socialistic traumas of the group brainstorming session…and above all his search for great stories to tell.

The scene than got the biggest boost went something like this:

INT. LARGER THAN LIFE – RECEPTION
The curvaceous MORGAN sachets down the hallway, leading clients to their respective account executives. Along the way, MIYA can be seen wiggling into a designer dress flaunting her obvious assets in the wardrobe room and the MEDIA GUY is polishing a flamethrower in his adjacent office.

There were tears, laughter, and heated moments emitting from the words on my pilot script. At the conclusion of the table read there was a energetic applause from the seated cast. The applause seemed to come not from a place of “Yeah!” but “Wow, this Media Guy stuff might actually have some legs.”

Now the hard part: the waiting game.

Here’s to hoping for that green light, whether it be tomorrow, next week, or next year.

—–

Want to see what a table read is like? Watch the Family Guy table read from the “Jedi” episode:

The post The Table Read appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

-Fifty years ago ads for cigarettes were everywhere and endorsed by celebrities from sports to movies.

-Coca Cola, backed by the Soda Pop Board of America, once proclaim that our children’s brains needed sugary drinks in their formative years to develop properly and fit in with society properly.

–Airlines used to position their women employees as a wonderful way for men to replace their wives on their travels (or even find a wife for that matter).

Now, well past my formative years in the ad game, I am beside myself about the sexist advertising that still exists. I can’t say that I’m an innocent in the world of using the female form to sell product.

Check out these award-winning ice cream spots (yes, I am serious [!], I have shiny pieces of hardware touting my excellence in advertising for these gems…how misinformed was I?):

Creme d’Or Ice Cream

Looking back, I can’t say that I am proud, but I guess you can call me a reformed feminist because I don’t do commercials like that anymore.

Hard to find, but a fantastic gossip read.

The feminist led me to paid more attention to the famous Hollywood casting call. Marilyn Monroe made the casting call famous. Monroe had resolved to sleep with anyone who could help her attain fame and fortune in Hollywood. According to countless biographies, friends of the iconic actress routinely note that she had “sex with anybody she thought might be able to advance her career.”

Many others, male and female, have chosen to take this path, even today. However, women are still being subjected to the sexist rigors of the casting call and showrunners don’t even seem to feel the need to hide it.

There’s been some buzz about “Casting Call, The Project,” which features real women—18 in all—reading real casting notices. Their reactions range from as little as raised eyebrows to exasperated sighs and obscenities.

Three friends created the project—Julie Asriyan, Laura Bray and Jenna Ciralli—summarized their work:

“In our quest to find and create work, we became all too familiar with reading character breakdowns posted on casting call notices via the numerous casting websites (some legitimate and reputable, others, not so much). Throughout this journey, we would often share with each other particularly ridiculous, hysterical and appalling casting call notices.”

The project is working with over 300,000 Facebook views in its first 24 hours and it’s closing in on 100,000 views on youtube:

Each casting call notes the classic stereotypes about gender, age, body type, and race with many conveying the deepest cuts into institutional segregation of the sexes:

• “Loves being a woman, so she probably wears a push-up bra.”
• “Nerdy type of girl, nevertheless she has a boyfriend who loves her.” 
• “Her cleavage is her best feature.”
• “She’s actually pretty, even with no makeup.” 

My “favorites” are these lines:

• “Lead actress needed for film about feminism. She is moderately attractive.”
• “Prefer an actor who is not thin. This is a great role for a feminist.”

Seriously, who writes this stuff?!

Kudos to these real New York friends who creatively show that by taking ownership of the creative process, women can “bring about the roles we all want to see for female actors.”

In other news…

…London mayor bans sexist ads…

Women react to ‘body-shaming’ Protein World ads.

…Advertising Agency Returns Cannes Bronze Lion for Sexist Scam Ad for Bayer…

Violating privacy of women wins awards, but doesn’t pay well in public anymore.

and finally, A big brand promises less sexist advertising!

The post The Dreaded Casting Call appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

I’m down on the ground once again. And not a second too soon because flying coach is a special trip to hell. I have to tell you that years of flying business and first class has spoiled me to the point where I need my mimosa before taking off or the whole experience is a bust.

Guess who was the loudest a-hole on my flight?

My flight featured a guy who insisted on being overly loud and half-naked, a twentysomething reading the latest issue of Guns & Ammo (always refreshing in a post-9/11 apocalypse), a psychic in the back of the plane doing some seance with her entourage in the back of the plane, candy bar lunches, and (rumor has it) Nicki Minaj in my business class seat.

Apparently Ms. Minaj took a break from her various Twitter scorned earth campaigns to harass a couple of the first class flight attendants. The stories of her belittling behavior floated back to the cheap seats pretty fast with reports of her ordering vodka cranberries at warp speed and once the flight attendant delivered the drink, she would take a single sip and demand another. She wasn’t alone, as her entire crew did the same thing until all of the mini bottles were gone.

Yeah, uh, you stay classy San Diego!

This story prompted a long overdue visit with one of my best buddies: Flight Girl Daniela. I know what you are thinking, “Flight Girl”?, why in the world would I call her that? You I know she’s a flight attendant. However, sorry folks, Daniela doesn’t take herself that seriously and actually makes passengers call her Flight Girl. For those of you who don’t know, the two columns we teamed on (December 2012’s “Flying the Friendly Skies” and April 2014’s “Daniela::Deux”) are still ranked in the top 10 Media Guy Struggles all-time reads, combining for 200,000+ page views.

We met at a Hollywood deli. She had the matzo ball soup and I had bagel chips with a side of well-done pickles. She arrived in uniform with perfect make-up and a pilot’s hat she lifted from her last flight with the promise to return it at her leisure. I asked her about Nicki’s action in first class and she said that’s normal for a the divas. She reported that even the divas of yesteryear can be a nightmare when the drink orders come in.

“One of the legendary stories they always tell us is about Lucy (Lucille Ball). On flights, no one could not speak to her, even for drink orders — you had to ask her assistant what Lucy wanted to drink. Another time, one of our sisters in flight accidentally dropped a glass of water on her and Lucy insisted it was okay, but when another glass was delivered, Lucy tossed the contents in her face and screeched, ‘How do you like it now?'”.

None of all of this bad behavior bothered the flight attendants (aka stewardesses, aka sexy stews) of the 1950s, 60s and 70s more than the way airlines used women and sex to sell air travel. There was even a secret public relations push to glorify the Mile High Club to make being in the air sexier that being on the ground.

“From objectifying women as maps to the promise of someone getting a wife out of their cross-country flight, airlines have long used women to sell tickets'” says Daniela.

With that, we spent lunch talking about fifteen of the most recognizable Triple S (“Sex Sells Seats”) ads that appeared in the pages of some of the biggest magazines ever in print:

1. Finnair – Summer Routes Ad (1968). No need for a real map. Use the back of a curvy brunette. Once you get to Finland, you can plan your pleasure route.

2. United Airlines  – The former Miss Butterfingers Ad (1967): The ad reads “…two months ago, Sheri Woodruff couldn’t even balance a cup of coffee. But she was friendly, intelligent, and attractive…” I am so glad she was at least attractive!

3. United Airlines – Old Maid ad (1967). They called her an old maid because she’s been flying for almost three years! None of that matters because “…everyone gets warmth, friendliness and extra care. And someone may get a wife…” Wow, coffee, tea or a wife! Sheesh!

4. PSA Airlines – Famous Stewardesses Radio ad (1969). Imagine hearing this on the radio today: 

“Right now PSA, the airline that is famous for its stewardesses, is looking for girls. Yes..girls to fill a cute orange mini-uniform…girls who smile and mean it…girls who give other people a lift. Now if you’re single, 18 1/2 to 26 years old, 5 foot 1 to 5 foot 9, 105 to 135 pounds, have a high school diploma or better–come in for an interview at the Los Angeles International Airport stewardesses department Tuesday or Thursday. PSA is an Equal Opportunity Employer” 

Yeah, uh, equal opportunity except the age, sex, height, weight, and marital status parts!

5. United Airlines – The Glamorous Life ad (1966). How great is it that that evolved from the specs of the original stewardess?: “Registered nurse, not over 25 years of age, weighing 115 lbs. or less, not over five feet four inches tall.” The consolation is at least they edited out “bride ready’ in the final copy.

6. American Airlines – Beautiful Girls (1967). I mean thank the heavens for American Airlines because they couldn’t possibly ‘…afford the sweet young thing who just stands there…’ and we were so much better for it.

7. United Airlines – Come Back Soon ad (1966): Only on United…a special brand of work prostitution: “You went to sleep after dinner. Why not? You work hard. When the flight landed, the stewardess smiled goodbye like she really meant it. She does. She even straightened your boutonniere. You get this kind of ‘extra care’ every time you fly with us.” What else do you get?

8. TWA – It’s A Man’s World ad (1953). The only airline ad we could find that didn’t devalue women and refused to trade on a woman’s body and racial profile as the core checklist in their advertising campaigns.

9. TWA – Foreign Accents ad (1968). It’s a shame the TWA ads of the late 1960s couldn’t mimic their predecessors from the 1950s. Really, how great would it be to select one of your four hostesses on TWA?: “…they come in four styles with hostesses to match: Italian (see toga), French (see gold mini), Olde English (see wench). And Manhattan penthouse (see hostess pajamas—after all all hostesses should look like this, right?)” Toga? Wench? This is about as low as it gets.”

11. Japan Airlines – How to Train and Airline Hostess (1959). This ad could also be called How to Train Your Future Foreign Wife…take a read: “A Japanese girl is taught from childhood the satisfaction of doing something for its own sake….You feel her real desire to please you, and only you. For she satisfies herself only as she succeeds in making you happy.”

12. American Airlines – Conrad Hilton ad (1966). American somehow tried to justify that women are just products with this stellar copy: “Flying just isn’t much of a thrill for Mr. Hilton anymore. He expects attention for his money.”

14. British Overseas Airways Corporation – all her Suki ad (1964). Isn’t it great she is more thank just beautiful? After all, she “can serve you sake, sushi, and teriyaki steak with ancestral grace.”

—
EDITOR’S NOTE: 
Part 2:
Read part one of Daniela and Michael here.


Part 3:
Read part three of Daniela and Michael here.

The post Nicki Minaj took my seat in business class, plus a visit with Flight Girl Daniela! appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

There’s no truth that I was able to secure a plum seat ringside for the Mayweather v. Pacquiao at the MGM this weekend in Las Vegas…yeah, uh, $4,000 for a ticket just to get in is a bit too much.

And, I may or may not be in Azerbaijan looking at a way to make them famous to accompany their riches and somehow wipe away a few of their abuses aimed as journalists and (gulp) media people. 

However, what I can tell you is that I saw Godzilla’s head being unveiled in grand style as he was appointed special resident and tourism ambassador for Tokyo’s Shinjuku ward. His giant, steaming skull towered 171 feet above ground level at the Toho offices, the studio behind the original 1954 film…only in Japan!

NOTES ON THE SCORECARD:
So while I waited for my meeting to meet with execs about my Media Guy Struggles television pilot and selling it into the Asian market (yes, a Media Guy can still dream…), I cobbled together my top five recent crumbs/stories about media, traveling and advertising.

5. STILL IN THE DARK
Creator David Chase Analyzes The Final Scene Of ‘The Sopranos’ Shot By Shot
Eight years after it aired, the finale of “The Sopranos” continues to be hotly debated. David Chase explains how he created the excruciating tension of the last scene. What he won’t say is what happened at the end.

4. WHERE CAN A GUY GET A TOBLERONE?
The Rise And Fall Of The Hotel Mini-Bar


It’s 2 AM. You’ve just returned to your hotel room after a night carousing on the town. The corner stores have long-since closed, and you’ve been left tipsy, alone, and in need of an after-hours morsel. And then, like some culinary apparition, it beckons you from the corner of the room: the hotel mini-bar.

3. 500 YEARS OF THE NYC SKYLINE
In One Time-Lapse Elevator Ride
The elevators to the observatory atop 1 World Trade Center show an animated time lapse that recreates the development of New York City’s skyline, from the 1500s to today.

2. BEFORE THE BUZZ WAS FED
The Time A Newspaper Stared Down The Country’s Largest Advertiser
A little-remembered incident helped establish the notion that news organizations could and should preserve their independence from advertisers.

1. AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER
German Old Spice
Just when you think the Old Spice commercials featuring Expendables star Terry Crews couldn’t get any more strange or intense, you read a story in the trades the the spots are being dubbed in German! Talk about intensity. All of that sounds great on paper, until he opens his mouth. It’s almost as if they they didn’t even try to find a voice that sounds like him. Let’s go to the video:

The post Godzilla and His Loose Connection to Azerbaijan: Me appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Okay, so where am I?

Top left and around: Taylor, Seacrest, Nick Jonas, Ludacris, me, Iggy, the red carpet, Pia Toscano, and my credential.

I’m in Hollywood getting ready to fly out on another top secret media campaign. Well, not so top secret, more of a non-disclosure, which binds my silences. Before the free drinks flow in the Cathay Pacific Business Lounge, I had a little business to wrap up in tinseltown.


With all the hoopla of the iHeart Radio Music Awards (yes, the red carpet was amazing once again), you may have missed a little tidbit on the official release of the video from my Miss Pilot show called “You Gave Me Love.” While it’s only been watched on my youtube page a few times, a couple of other posts have been watched almost 1,000,000 times combined. I mean, it’s no grumpy cat, but for a little Japanese show that could, I will take it any day of the week:

The past few days have been bittersweet as a countdown to the last days of Mad Men (more on that later). In between it all, a ran across some news that may or may note blow you away.


Breakfast Is Not The Most Important Meal Of The Day…No, your parents did not lie to you. They were just misinformed. As with many studies surrounding food, a majority of the research surrounding breakfast was funded by those peddlers of cereal and bacon (side note: don’t eat bacon) — unsurprisingly concluding that a complete breakfast was necessary to a healthy lifestyle. But, according to a dietician and a cultural historian interviewed by Hopes & Fears, breakfast, as a structured meal, really doesn’t matter. If you’re hungry in the morning, eat! If you’re not, then don’t lay an egg, just eat whenever hunger strikes. The most important thing to remember is that it’s not when you eat, but what you eat. 


The Machines Now Decide If You Get That Job, Based On Your Voice…Decades of voice research has revealed that no matter how happy, or inspired, or serious people try to sound — underneath all that inflection lies a telltale “fingerprint” of a person’s voice that influences how others perceive you. And when it comes to jobs that rely heavily on putting people at ease, or diffusing anger or winning others over, companies are starting to use algorithms to systematically weed out the good voices from the bad. It’s bad news if you’re looking to get into sales or work at a call center, but maybe good news that your career isn’t in dealing with people all day?


Filed under “every great New York media lunch started with a pastrami sandwich, a good drink and a willing client” comes  BEEF GRIEF…The Price Of Pastrami In New York Is Too Damn High. Imagine this sign:

“Due to the increased price of pastrami,” it began, unpromisingly, “we at the Yankee Tavern apologize for the increase in prices for the pastrami items.” 

Yes…Pastrami is in crisis.

This Professor Has Invented A Pill That Eliminates Hangovers…Former chief drugs adviser, Professor David Nutt has answered your sweaty, toilet-bowl-hugging prayers and invented a non-toxic inebriant drug that mimics the effects of alcohol: without the hangover. 


RELATED: DRINK LIKE A MAD MAN AND MAKING IT AT A MAD MAN PARTY

THE END IS NEAR...Mad Men is coming to an end in seven hours of television. I’m a bit broken up about it. Maybe it’s because for 99% of the viewing public it is just great television. For me, I lived it. Watching the drama at Sterling, Cooper, Draper, etc. is like a little snippet of my childhood, only the people are prettier and it’s set in New York. Virtually everything that happened through the first six and a half seasons occurred in my life. Almost as if they read my diary, er, not that I keep one. So, as Don Draper and company get ready to clock out for good, AMC allows us to get up close and personal with our favorite ad team. I suppose you’ll know where I’ll be April 5 at 10p EST.


But before you check out the photos and a trailer for the new season below, get a little reading in. Haley Herfurth of Menatl_Floss reports that since its start in 2007, AMC’s Mad Men has mentioned, discussed, or alluded to a considerable amount of classic literature, from authors like Dante to Mark Twain to Edward Gibbon. Each mention or allusion serves a purpose within the show’s plotline, working either to explain a character, set a scene, or provide context for decisions made or actions taken. So if you’re going to watch a whole day of television, the least you could do is read one of these 12 classics.

Now, without further delay, all of our favorites are featured — Outdoor Soiree Style:

The post Notes from a Tinseltown Weekend appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Margrét, my “New Favorite Amazon Model” has become some sort of a cult hero in the Media Guy Struggles Pantheon of characters. Ah yes, Margrét. Many hold her in the highest regard after an appearing in my number one all time story: Nude Modeling. Funny you ask because just hours before I left for my annual Japanese TV show circus trip, we hooked up for lunch to plan some new work.

A lunch with Margrét isn’t just about food. Sure I wanted to eat, but a lunch with her is more about a life lesson on how to be real and a lot less about photography and modeling.

Things are looking up for Margrét…

What’s not to learn? She seems to have somehow cornered the happiness market. She has a bucket of sunshine for a backyard, a full passport, half-a-mill per year coming in (according to her agent), countless private exhibitions devoted to her long, lithe body, a Rolls, a clean arrest record, and an attitude that lulls you into a state of affection.

She met me at her private apartment, which is not like your house (or apartment, private or otherwise).

Her apartment is more like an English flat with a day spa attached. Outside her guest bedroom she has a sumptuous marble and granite fireplace that doubles as a sound machine for the soothing sound of water falling from the heavens. The aroma of essential Dior oils waft through the air. Pitchers of water laced with cucumber abound throughout the space.

She greets me in her modeling smock, which is not like your modeling smock.

Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model (MMNFAM): Well, sir, you must be thrilled! The American Media Guy strolling back into Japan to film some commercials and shoot another season of your show  with just the right amount of cocky.

Media Guy: Well, Margrét, I attended an EPIC party after the Oscars. The local Burning Man group threw a massive 3-day desert party out in Boulder City, and around 600 people showed up to tune in, turn on, and camp out in what basically amounted to a mini version of the real Burning Man. Now, I know Burning Man is basically just a big frat kegger with tutus and hula hoops…but for many people, the whole Burning Man ethos has become a lifestyle and a real community. There are probably at least a thousand Burners (as they call Burning Man habitués) living in Vegas, and our local group is pretty hardcore. Many of them/us meet up all the time for parties, campouts, drum circles, spaghetti dinners and art events. It’s great muse for a new TV show I’m trying to develop.

Psychedelic Polaroids!

MMNFAM: Part of the whole Burning Man culture is sharing your art with others and making an inclusive, interactive experience. I just setup my home studio to share my love of costumes and photography by taking psychedelic portraits with other models that come through. I even ordered a bunch of Polaroid film, so that I could give out hard copies. As much as I love psychedelic polaroids with visitors, nothing can match the Clown Motel!

Media Guy: Clown Motel? Frightening and wildly interesting all at once.

MMNFAM: OMG, this Clown Motel has been on my bucket list forever — every time I drive by it, I literally start drooling with lust: a beat-up-looking old dive motel with clowns all over the facade, like they’re trying to scare away business instead of lure in customers. I love contrarian awesomeness like this and I was lucky enough to book a shoot there to make life just that much more exciting! We drove into the parking lot in the dark, and it was really creepy: the manager’s office is a tiny little wood-paneled room chock full of hundreds and hundreds of clown figurines, clown dolls, Precious Moments clowns and one or two extra-terrifying life-sized clowns sitting around in chairs. Kind of like your grandma’s house, if she was Norman Bates’s insane other roommate. I asked where the shoot was and the clerk handed me the key: “Why don’t you go check out the room first, then come back and let me know if you still want to do the shoot it.” DOUBLE YIKES!! As I went over to check out the room, it was something out of some bad cult horror movie: stained carpet, torn curtains, two black velvet paintings of clowns on the wall. The photographer was ready and the client was munching on M&Ms from the craft service table. So I stayed and it wound up being an incredibly fun day. They are even thing of using me for a new reality pilot Bravo is making.

Make me a bicycle, clown!

Media Guy: I remember a while back you mentioned you might be playing Earth Mother-Goddess soon. Did that ever take off?

MMNFAM: It did happen. I was invited for a shoot at the Ironman World Championship, playing Earth Mother Goddess. This meant that the fittest, most shredded athletes in the entire world were coming out to face off against each other in a bizarre, hairless swim-bike-run race-to-the-death among the crème de la crème of Spandex-clad Type A Caucasians with $18,000 bicycles and too much time on their hands. A quick Wikipedia investigation the night before had revealed that these insane individuals planned to swim 2.4 miles in open seas, after which they would race ashore, dripping with seawater, and mount the aforementioned $18,000 bikes for a 112-mile bike ride through the searing Hawaiian desert…before dismounting and embarking upon a full, 26.2-mile marathon. You might assume it was for the prize money — $120,000 to the winner, who usually finishes in around 8 hours. But there were over 2,200 entrants in this race, and only those finishing in the Top 10 of each gender got any prize money. That means something like 2,120 put themselves through this torture for free. Actually it was worse — they had to pay something like $700 to enter the race, not to mention the cost of gear, airfare and accommodations. So, these people were basically shelling out thousands for the privilege of torturing themselves. Or for bragging rights, I suppose. Ah, the cray-cray stuff white people do!

Well, I’m pretty fit myself — I work out fairly religiously, in a Sisyphean quest to keep my ass up where it’s supposed to be, so I’m pretty well used to being the fittest person, or at least among the fittest people, in any given room. But, for the love of God, what did I sign myself up for?! I was surrounded by superhuman cyborgs in peak physical condition, all of whom were on special low-carb/no carb/protein-heavy diets that surely didn’t allow for any alcohol. I won’t bore you with the rest, but I’ll tell you that it came off pretty good and I even got some R&R in after the grueling sun-drenched shoot.

R&R: Censored!

Media Guy: Not that you squeezed in some rest and relaxation in Hawaii, what exotic things are next?

MMNFAM: Aliens!!! Seriously I have a trip planned up to Area 51 to research a movie role that starts shooting in Germany. I had originally planned to camp out at the drum circle and just sleep in my truck bed, under the stars, and then head to Area 51 from there, but I guess I’m too high maintenance to be that much of a gypsy, because the lure of a hot shower and my comfy bed is too much to resist, so I booked a room at the nearest three-star knowing I couldn’t last all night out there.

Electrified.

Media Guy: Maybe you should be known as queen of the strange shoots.

MMNFAM: Not all my gigs were freaky, though — I actually did a few normal, “nice-girl”-type jobs recently, just to keep my nice-girl skills from rusting. One night I worked a charity fundraiser wine-pouring event for this smoking hot French winemaker, who used to be a rugby star but retired to open a winery in the south of France. Must be nice… Anyway, he only showed up for photos at the beginning of the event, and then delegated the job to his assistant, this adorable little French hottie who took a shine to me. I offered to give him a ride back to his hotel after the event, because there were no taxis at the venue, and to thank me for my help he hooked me up with two cases of high-end French wine. SCORE! I normally drink Coppola or worse, so this is a real treat. Meanwhile, I was kinda nervous about pouring high-end wine for all these cork-sniffers who come to show off their new stuff and whatnot and talk fancy about wine. But I didn’t need to because everyone was so wasted it was embarrassing. These poseur chippies would stumble up to my table with their wineglasses held out for a pour, and the French hottie would start blathering about the terroir and notes of oak and you could see these adies had zero idea what he was talking about…nor did they care.

Media Guy: All of this confirming the fact that you are the queen of the strange shoots.

MMNFAM: I guess there’s no denying that! See you at that wedding next month. Crashing here we come.

The post Catching up with Margrét, My New Favorite Amazon Model appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Just enough time before Christmas to squeeze in a few tidbits from my latest trip in Japan.

So here I am knocking out the next season off Miss Pilot and in the middle of it I was called away to a wireless company prove how fast their data speeds are. How did I do it? I used the old fry shrimps in three seconds advertising metaphor…Impossible?

Take a peek:

All of this was happening while our friends in North Korea revealed their end game bullying Sony Pictures to pull the poorly conceived Interview from theaters in perpetuity. Who will save Sony from themselves? Perhaps Bruce Willis and Rudolph! Take a look at Fly Hard, a Die Hard/Rudolph Parody Trailer Movie Mashup:

My final bit of embarrassing work centers on my new ice cream commercial that began airing this week. (You may remember my previous headshaker from Lotte… However, this is ten times worse, but it pays the bills!:

At least there is Chocolate Eclair coffee at Starbucks here…More from Tokyo in the next column.

The post Yippie Ki Yay: Notes and Videos from Tokyo appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Okay, so where am I? 

Yes, I’m back in Tokyo wrapping up filming of my wacky and oddly-popular Japanese television show. Let me be the first to tell you that Japan is a lesson in culture shock. I mean every country has its quirks and eccentricities, but few are on par with this island when it comes to strange and unique activities. So, before I get to the 2:00 AM temperamental actress drama, let me tell you about some of the oddities I discovered.

THIGH-HIGHS

Click to enlarge.

Forget about permanent ink, the latest rage in the Japanese ad game is to have is an advertisement painted on your thighs. Oh believe it, Anime wannabees are renting out their thigh space to the highest bidders. According to the data, over three thousand women (aged 18 and older with 20+ connections on social media) have already signed up to pimp their legs out.

Some PR consultant named “Atsumi” (sorry this may be inaccurate because news stories fly at you faster than the dirty look your wife gives you when you’re “working late”) says that women’s thighs are the perfect place for a walking billboard. “Guys are eager to look at them and girls are okay with exposing their thighs.” (What a prince of a guy!)

The idea to use the human body as advertising space isn’t new. Some boxers have let their bodies do the speaking in big fights. The Legvertising guerrilla campaign by a New Zealand clothing company caused a big stir a few years ago when they used women’s legs to spread their message. It works though…everyone notices.

Note to self: Find out what the third picture means!

TOILETS

Narita Airport isn’t your standard Asian stopover … they have the best toilets. Never will a better buffet of bathroom choices be presented in a public room of rest. Seat warming, deodorization, massaging, cleansing of the buttocks — Why are we Americans living in the dark ages of toiletry?

ROYALTY CHECKS

Back in the depths of my terrible 2012 disaster year (buy the book due in 2018 for details), I wrote and produced a TV commercial for culinary giant Lotte, a well-known purveyor of sweets and ice cream. The tasty Zacrich treat is vanilla ice cream wrapped in a crunchy cone and sealed with chocolate puff coating. The on-air talent consisted of seven gorgeous models-turned-actresses that were also known as The Zacrich Girls. (Okay, not the most innovative name, but hey, don’t blame me) and one wore sexy costumes shaped like the Zacrich ice cream. At the end of the commercial, the girls shriek” “Please take a big bite.” I never thought a lot about the work and I had imagined that most of them probably turned to thigh advertising. As it turns out, the thirty second ditty is quite popular and still running a full two years later, which begs the question: Where are my royalty checks?!

The irony of it all.

IRONY

Back in March, I smirked at the Dolby Theatre during setup days at the 2014 Oscars. I noted on my Flickr account that the Japanese actress on the left did her darnedest to gain attention with a press entourage of 50+. It was quite funny. The irony? She wound up working on my show.


THE 2:00 AM TEMPERAMENTAL DIVA

As the last hour of a party is very dangerous, the day before shooting a big scene carries the same peril. After all, that’s when the really dubious choices get made. Sure, have another drink. Take those mystery sugar cubes being offered by a stranger. Go home with an obviously bad idea. Visit your favorite screenwriter at his hotel room at two in the morning when your call time is six. Yes, there’s a small window when everything seems possible, between when the good times arc and when you wake up in a bear trap. The sense of possibility is thrilling, but it’s always a crap shoot how the day following those spontaneous choices will roll out: jubilation, lament, or all of the above?

Take my favorite diva (pictured in from my Instagram post) Izumi. She is a scintillating private actress in Asia. And no no, no that isn’t “Hollywood Speak” for “adult actress.” She does private one-woman shows for the affluent businessmen there. She is the toast of the aristocratic Asian CEO Party set. When she feared at twenty-nine that her youthful radiance was waning, because she wasn’t getting the plum lead roles of Japanese television and cinema, she bullied her way into my show using her connections to elite Western European producers. Turns out that her part had a some juicy bits, including content that FX and AMC might be forced to run the traditional “Due to sexual content, viewer discretion is advised” placard before rolling the scene.

2:00 A.M is no time to pout.

The drama-filled rehearsals moved the dynamic and oft imperious personality of Izumi — demanding, insisting, daring, improvising, brushing aside protocol, refusing to be dominated for long stretches. She was difficult, but talented.

Filming was set to begin only hours away when a pounding emanated from the thick door of my hotel suite at the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. I opened the door without checking and in burst Izumi in her mini-mini skirt that barely covered her toned, long legs. Steam was surging from both of her ears.

She proceeded to park herself on my couch and demand a rewrite on her upcoming scenes because her co-star smelled so bad. It’s easy to imagine the pent-up fury she felt when, after waiting years for a role she felt worthy of, she was stuck with this minor part and a co-star whom was scorning her pleas to bathe. I offered to call his people and request that he practice some basic hygiene but she was hell bent on getting the entire part redone, right then, right there. I told her I was going to sleep.

Wouldn’t you know it? She started singing some K-Pop song and promised to keep going until the morning call time. The agony of listening to this madness drove me to call the show’s producer. When I connected, he was none too happy and wanted an “immediate 20-word explanation.” I explained and he said to call Izumi over and put her on the speakerphone. His terse thirty-second lecture sounded something like this:

When he was done with her, she picked up the phone’s receiver and handed it to me. He informed me that she would not be bothering me anymore and wished be a good rest of the evening, assuring me I did the right thing, and hung up. The follow-up conversation went something like this:

ME: What did he tell you?
IZUMI: He said that if I bothered you again you would kill me.
ME: Kill you? You mean for real?
IZUMI: No. He said you would kill my character after I did the scene with the smelly guy.

EPILOGUE…The smelly guy wound up having to bathe and his character was killed by the end of the season.

BOWING

Bowing in Japan may be used as a greeting, introduction, show of respect or apology. There are several types of Japanese bow that are useful to know. But, let’s just say you want to avoid doing the Larry David S**T Bow:

I found this handy guide to bowing (note that the last five are apology bows because apparently you say sorry a whole lot if you live in Japan).

1. Greetings: It’s common to give a little 10° nod of the head and shoulders to greet a friend. A similar gesture can be used to say goodbye. 
2. Introductions: In both formal and casual introductions it’s expected to bow 30° with your upper body. It’s important to keep your head and shoulders straight and hands to the side.  After exchanging meishi do a bow and hold for 1 second or so. There’s no reason to keep eye contact during a bow (in fact it’s considered bad form). Keep a distance to avoid bumping heads (it happens). If the person you’re meeting is very important bow 45°. Never bow and shake hands at the same time. 
3. Bows of Respect: A bow is an expression of humility. It always indicates respect. 
4. Sports Bow: Another bow of respect is the bow between opponents before a sports match. This is often a shallow bow of 20°. 
5. Religious Bow: It’s also common to bow to the gods at a Shinto shrine. This is often a shallow bow of the upper body. 
6. Martial Arts Bows: Japanese martial arts have their own conventions of bowing. Great respect is paid to your sensei (teacher). It’s also important to show respect to your opponent. 
7. Bowing to Customers: In Japan, customers are considered gods (of sorts). It’s common for staff to bow to customers. This is usually a bow of the upper body of around 20°. 
8. Bows of Thanks: If someone lets you ahead of them in line it’s common to give a shallow bow of the head in thanks. It’s even common for automobile drivers to bow to each other for small courtesies. 
9. Performance Bow: As in the West, it’s common for performers to bow in response to applause. This is usually a shallow bow. Here Geisha perform a very deep bow. 
10. Mild Apology: A mild apology involves a bow with the head of 10°. This can be used if you bump into a stranger or cause a minor inconvenience to someone. For example, if someone holds the elevator doors for you. Say sumimasen (excuse me or I’m sorry). 
11. Regular Apology: If your boss is mad at you — a 45° bow of the upper body is in order. Hold the bow for 5 seconds. Say sumimasen deshita (I’m sorry for what I did). 
12. Serious Apology: Let’s say you’re a company CEO and your company releases a defective product. At the press conference you may apologize with a long 45° bow of the upper body. It may be appropriate to hold the bowing position for 15 or 20 seconds. Say moushiwake gozaimasen deshita (I’m very sorry for what I did). 
13. Panic Apology: Let’s say you’re a waiter and you spill hot coffee all over a customer. You may do a 45° bow over and over again to indicate how sorry you are. Repeat moushiwake gozaimasen (I’m very sorry) with each bow. 
14. Very Serious Apology: Let’s say you’ve committed a serious crime and you’re apologizing to the victims. You would bow from a kneeling position. Say makoto ni moushiwake gozaimasen deshita (I sincerely apologize for what I did).

OTHER ODDITIES

Faux surgical masks are standard faire for plan rides and public transportation.

Lloyd’s brand microphones are still the rage for many press conferences.

The Zacrich Girls take a big bite!

Apparently Tommy Lee Jones doesn’t smile in Japan either…

…people sit behind ice blocks at Icebar Tokyo and after paying an entrance fee of 3500 Yen (which includes one drink), customers can borrow a coat upon entry. Everything in the bar including the counter, the wall, table, glasses, chairs are made from blocks of ice cut from Sweden’s Torne river…

Note: Some pictures were contributed.

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