I mean tickets to the Golden Game? Super Bowl 50? In San Francisco? Club Level? Running elbows with the bourgeois of the world like Beyoncé, Pres. Obama, The Mannings, and Katy Perry? I mean who wouldn’t want that?

But then “$3K PER TICKET” smacked me on the brain like an errant elbow from your girlfriend who’s tossing and turning in bed after a 10-tequila-shot bender at 4a in Vegas or Monte Carlo.

Three thousand dollars? And six thousand dollars for two? Face Value? Who would pay $6,000 for Super Bowl tickets and feel good about themselves while drinking $15 beers in their plush club level seats while behemoths slam into each other while involving concussion protocols that can only truly be determined after death? I mean $1 a day helps a whole family eat three squares in Southern Sudan right?

C’mon NFL, really? Are you donating a part of this to some kind of charity? Sheesh! So right there I made my Stub Hub commitment to scalp these suckers and help out the world. Final result ended with an $8,000 donation to a local food bank.

Will I regret it? No way. It’s not like it’s a Kings-Capitals Stanley Cup Final ticket, right?

Okay, so where am I?

I’m at home waiting for my chili to finish cooking so I can have my Hebrew Nationals (a package of seven cost me $3.99, while a single hot dog at Levi’s Stadium would have run me $8.00; I think I made a good choice to sell my tickets and watch at home, don’t you think?).

Based on one of the best Super Bowl commercials (there weren’t many), I should have stuck with Heinz condiments. Heinz’s clever blend of America’s love of a dog commercial and blended it with a time-honored brand and a dash of quirk. The Heinz’s Wiener Stampede jumped from the field and into our hearts. It also proved that if you had a big hit in the 70s, then you can make money in 2016 (ala Harry Nilsson’s “Without You”).:

I think I may have stumbled on my true calling: Athlete fixer. Last year, I reached out to Seattle Seahawks’ running back Marshawn Lynch to be his media coach. Before that, I detailed how to eliminate your stage fright. This year it’s Carolina Panthers’ quarterback Cam Newton who needs a little Media Guy help. His post-game presser was a personal disaster. For a guy who makes $10 mil annually in endorsements, he sure needs a lessen in humility. His three-minute talk to the media included nine answers that were three words or less. Someone should have taken him aside before walking into that room. Where was his Jerry Maguire? Where was the Panthers’ PR person to protect their most valuable player asset? C’mon Panthers! You’re better than that!

So Cam, as I told Marshawn, next time you ready yourself to Superman into a press conference after a humbling defeat, give the Media Guy a ring…or just email me.

(BEST) AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER
Anheuser-Busch

After Helen Mirren’s commercial scorned us not to drink and drive, but then winds up drinking a beer and says, “This is suppose to be fun,” Peyton Manning slipped in the most effective commercial of them all. With everyone hanging on his post-game interview, pondering if he will announce his retirement, he instead listed his top priorities right now, saying he was going to drink a lot of Budweiser.


Holy ad messaging contradiction!

(RUNNER UP) AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER
Baldwin Bowl

(WORST) AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER
Mountain Dew’s puppymonkeybaby

Creepy and disappointing! When that ridiculous thing hit the screen with its bad Godzilla-like stop motion CGI and started licking the guy’s face somehow inspiring him to drink the new Mountain Dew drink, I wanted to punch the television. But what do I know?

The abomination of a commercial was trending on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook all day. The ad garnered Mountain Dew almost 70,000 mentions** Good, bad or ugly, viewers wouldn’t stop talking about this nightmare.

Dude on Twitter said it best:

*- According to Market Watch
**- According to Amobee Brand Intelligence

The post At first I was like, “Holy F#%king Super Bowl Tickets, Batman!” … appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Super Bowl 50 officially kicked off with Media Day Super Bowl Opening Night and there’s a lot going on in Northern California. I mean this could be Peyton Manning’s last rodeo, players are wearing wrestling masks and the game will be on in Hungary! The SAP Center, which is usually home to the chokers known as the San Jose Sharks, is now home to the “Golden Game’s” opening night.

Needless to say, I did not get an exclusive with Peyton Manning.

I really want to know how anyone gets any good stories from this day without insider access. There are literally thousands reporters hunting both teams asking the same old questions and getting the same old answers. Some of the goof balls reporters are dressed as super heroes, clowns, and brides turning the already insane day into a mockery of media reporting.

As I look around the arena, I am immediately reminded and how America is a sucker for everything football. Upwards of 7,000 fans paid $30 just for the privilege of sitting in the stands and watch the players say as little as possible in their quest to get back to their hotel for room service as soon as possible.

Speaking of insider access, Miss Universe, Pia Wurtzbach of the Philippines, certainly has it. She’s covering the festivities for Inside Edition. Gossipers inside the madness whispered that a bitter Miss Colombia was denied a press credential…well, that’s what Steve Harvey told me.

I’m still a little bitter myself that the Super Bowl package at the Fairmont hotel seems to be sold out. The five-star hotel has a $1 million party package which includes a four night stay for six in their 6,000-square-foot penthouse and 22 tickets to the game. I was really counting on this package.


Back to Pia, she was up front, sash and all, dancing with the players:

Last year’s Super Bowl XLIX between the the Patriots and the Seahawks was watched by almost 155 million viewers. For those of you scoring at home, that the most-watched show in the history of American television. This is why ads on the telecast cost a whopping $5 million for a thirty second spot. It seems that every single spot will star a dog, a donkey, or Alec Baldwin touting Amazon’s ripoff of Siri featuring the voice of “Alexa.” Early buzz has the Honda Sheep as the media darling. In the spot, sheep sing Queen’s “Somebody To Love.”

Ah, Sheep…the perfect metaphor for the mass of naive consumers susceptible to dreamy television commercials. But seriously, Keith Quesenberry of Messiah College and Michael Coolsen of Shippensburg University came out with a new study of Super Bowl ads, The researchers said that William Shakespeare holds the key to a great ad. Time.com they concluded that the most successful, well-liked ads are presented as mini-movies in a five-act story structure such as that favored by legendary playwright William Shakespeare. Why you ask? Well, the study found many of the best ads follow “Gustav’s Pyramid,” the five-part story structure — exposition, rising action, climax, falling action and denouement — adopted by 19th Century German novelist Gustav Freytag.

Jose Mendin’s Korean Fried Chicken Wings (below)

Sirius XM satellite radio will offer up eight languages of the game on Sunday, including a Hungarian broadcast. Somewhere in Budapest, a woman preparing her goulash (in lieu of chicken wings) is wondering aloud how she’s going to make it to the 12:30a kickoff time.

Speaking of which, how did chicken wings become the official snack of America’s most-watched event? The National Chicken Council estimates that 1.3 billion wings will be eaten by Americans on Super Bowl Sunday. That’s 39 million more than last year! The NCC also notes that that Charlotte residents spend over $1,400 on wings per $1 million spent in local grocery stores. That’s almost three times more than the $480 devoted to wings in Denver. Apparently, the wing is king. I’ve provided a brilliant Korean wings recipe below. Why? Because every great American party needs some culture.

Lady Gaga is performing the national anthem. Considering her performance at the Oscars let’s us know she will do just fine. The betting over/under is 2 minutes 20 seconds for Lady Gaga’s pregame national anthem on Sunday. What prevents Gaga from telling all her family and friends to bet big on the “under” and then coming in at 1:57? Hey, I’m just asking!

The Q Factor. Sports and entertainment research company, Repucom, which measures the metrics on almost 4,000 celebs and athletes and celebrities reports that Panthers QB Cam Newton now has a better “influential score” — the ability to change people’s perceptions — than President Barack Obama, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton. Now you know who to write-in this November.

Helen Mirren’s anti-drunk driving Super Bowl ad for Anheuser-Busch/Budweiser smacks of hypocrisy:

Bud shouldn’t get to preach against drunk driving any more than Smith & Wesson gets to preach about gun violence.

Carolina Panthers cornerback Josh Norman wears a wrestling mask on Media Day Super Bowl Opening Night. Photo: Jerry Lai, USA TODAY Sports

AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER


The Evolution of Barbie

“We believe we have a responsibility to girls and parents to reflect a broader view of beauty.” These are just a few words from Mattel’s senior vice president after the toymaker announced a new line of inclusive, diverse Barbies. The new spot won’t appear on the Super Bowl telecast, but it deserves a spot here on the Media Guy Struggles:

The post Media Day at the Super Bowl appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

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UPDATE:
Don’t miss the Mad Men drinking game courtesy of Christine Erickson of Mashable.

The post Drink Like a Mad Man appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Some people with vague,
undiagnosed illnesses feel better after cutting out gluten, a protein in
flour-based foods. Many Americans, including professional athletes and
celebrities such as Zooey Deschanel and men’s tennis leader Djovak Nokovic, say
they look and perform better since dropping gluten from their diets.

What if you could toss the
flour in your pastries, but keep the flavor?

Follow Kyra Bussanich on Twitter like the Media Guy does.

“Unfortunately, a lot of
people who commit to a gluten-free lifestyle believe they have to sacrifice
their favorite desserts, because gluten-free treats are often loaded with sugar
but low on flavor,” says Kyra Bussanich, (www.kyrasbakeshop.com), author of a new, full-color recipe
book, “Sweet Cravings: 50 Seductive Desserts for a Gluten-Free Lifestyle

Bussanich’s gluten-free
cupcakes twice bested their floury competition on “Cupcake Wars” (2011 and
2012) and were a runner-up for the show’s Cupcake Champion. She shares her
secrets in recipes such as Mexican Chocolate Baked Alaska, Persian Love Cakes
with Cardamom Buttercream and Vanilla Chiffon Cake with Blackberry Coulis. 

After suffering a
life-threatening illness at 20, Bussanich recovered with the help of a new diet
without gluten. She began testing gluten-free recipes while attending the
prestigious Le Cordon Bleu patisserie program and later opened her popular
business, Kyra’s Bake Shop.

“My recipes are not good ‘for
being gluten-free;’ they’re just good, and that’s why people who eat gluten
visit my bakery and order gluten-free desserts,” she says. “For me, being
diagnosed with an autoimmune disease allowed me to turn lemons into gluten-free
lemon meringue pie!”

Any doubt that gluten-free
can be delicious? Try this one (and add in a Venti gluten-free cup of Starbucks!):

Apple
Crisp
6 large tart apples (Pippin
or Granny Smith)
1/3 cup sugar, or 1/4 cup maple syrup
2 tablespoons tapioca starch
1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon Chinese five-spice powder
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
Generous pinch salt
3 tablespoons cold butter

Topping
1/2 cup sweet white rice
flour
1/2 cup millet flour
1/2 cup tapioca starch
1 cup packed golden brown sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon Chinese five-spice powder
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
3/4 cup butter, room temperature
3/4 cup gluten-free oats
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts (optional)
 
Preheat the oven to 350°F.
Peel, core and slice the apples into 1/4-inch slices. Put the apple slices into
a large bowl and sprinkle the sugar over the top. Add the tapioca starch,
cinnamon, five-spice, ginger and salt and toss together to evenly coat the
apple slices. Pour into a 9 by 13-inch baking pan, dot the top with pieces of
the butter and set aside. To make the topping, combine the flours, tapioca
starch, brown sugar, cinnamon, salt, five-spice and ginger in a mixing bowl. In
a stand mixer with a paddle attachment, mix in the butter until it is uniformly
incorporated into the flour mixture. Stir in the oats and pecans.

Crumble the oat topping
evenly over the apples. Bake until the topping is golden brown and set and the
apples are warm and bubbly, 55 to 60 minutes.

You can prepare everything
ahead of time. Refrigerate the apple filling and keep the topping frozen until
ready to assemble and bake. Don’t refrigerate the unbaked topping overnight
since the millet flour will interact with the butter and taste and smell cheesy
when it’s baked.

Get the book at Amazon.com

The post Going Gluten-Free! appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Blueberry Muffin Then: 1.5 ounces, 210 calories Now: 5 ounces, 500 calories

• 57% believe an unattractive (but qualified) job candidate will have a harder time getting hired;
• 68% believe that, once hired, looks will continue to affect the way managers rate job performance.
• 63% said being physically attractive is beneficial to men who are looking for work,
• 72% said it was an advantage for women.
• On a priority scale, education came in third. Experience was second, and yep (!), attractiveness was first.

Spaghetti and Meatballs Then: 1 cup of spaghetti and sauce with 3 meatballs, 500 calories Now: 2 cups of pasta and sauce with 3 meatballs, 1,025 calories

Bagels Then: 3-inch diameter, 140 calories Now: 6-inch diameter, 350 calories

Fast Food Cheeseburgers Then: 333 calories Now: 590 Calories

French Fries Then: 2.4 ounces, 210 calories Now: 6.9 ounces, 610 calories

Soda Then: 6.5 ounces, 85 calories Now: 20 ounces, 250 calories

The post Huge Food – What’s a Media Guy to Do? appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.