“It starts three days before; this jittery, anxious sensation. Then
on the twelve, the calendar calls to me like that little girl in the “Mama”movie. There’s no hiding it, V-Day only hours away. Will this be the third year
in row that Bob from Accounting misses my obvious flirtations and doesn’t send
flower, or a card or even think to ask me to a movie? Why do I need to be
validated? Why does this silly day set the course of love for the next eleven
point five months? Watching all the FTD deliveries endless arrive is like how I
felt after my fourth tequila at the Christmas party. I feel the fool”

• What is my goal? For each
  question, jot down what you are really looking for. Are you looking for a lifelong partner,
  just a date on Valentine’s Day, or for your marriage to work? Many “serial
  daters” and “twice married men and women” claim they want the real thing;
  however, often their behavior indicates the opposite. Singles and couples must
  be honest with what is in their hearts, Quansah declares.
• What am I doing to achieve my
  goal? Striking a balance is important. Doing too much, like spending a lot of
  money on a new look or being too negative, can be relationship killers because
  they are not permanent solutions and this makes achieving your goal difficult.
  If you’re act like yourself, you’ll be more comfortable and self-confident –
  and those are attractive qualities! Remember who you are and what you love, but
  don’t be inflexible; love and relationship success are often about compromise.
  Taking note of what you have and haven’t done, and evaluating the effectiveness
  of those strategies, are the key to dating, relationship, and marriage success.
• What might prevent me from
  achieving my goal? Fault finding in potential love interest or in a marriage, for example,
  can hinder the flow of success. Another obstacle may be placing artificial
  contingencies on your love connection, like comparing yourself to others, or
  unintentionally putting too much strain on your marriage. An objective, calm,
  and rational approach can help you map a course for meeting the man or woman of
  your dreams and achieving love relationship success.
• What methods have not worked for
  me?
  Mistakes are to be expected – nobody’s perfect. But they should only be
  acceptable as long as you’ve learned something from them. Look back and do a
  review. If you have approached dating or relationship success in ways that keep
  failing, it is time to change!
• What methods have worked for me? Everybody has
  qualities that make them good at some things and not so great in other areas.
  Focus on your strengths; if you have used methods that brought you success in dating
  or in your marriage, you should use those methods because they will yield
  result. But do not be afraid to test the waters with new ideas.
• What will it feel like when I
  succeed? If you cannot envision the taste of success, you may be less motivated to
  go the extra mile for true love. Think about how nice it would feel to have
  meaningful companionship, bring someone home to meet the family, and maybe even
  start a family of your own. 

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