I’m phone watching once again, half-heatedly expecting Dr. Peter Lam, Chairman of the Hong Kong Tourism Board, or their executive director Anthony Lau, to call me to sort out this mess created by their sexist and creepy “Treasures of the Heart” tourism commercial.

Before I go on my whimsical rant about how the watchful eyes of the Media Guy could have saved Hong Kong millions of dollars in bad publicity, let’s go to the tape to view this tone-deaf advertisement.

My eyes tell me this is more an ad about human trafficking. Showcasing the controlling relationship one has over the other is a lesson in manipulation.

I understand that “Treasures”, directed by Chan Chi-fat, endeavors to showcase an spontaneous starry-eyed escapade but rapidly degenerated into a 1:45-minute movie trailer that can best be played out as a Halloween thriller. This is more Taken 5 than Love Actually. All we need is Liam Neeson talking about his special skills and this poor young lady being loaded into a shipping container and we’re all set.

How do you make a girl follow your manipulative directions and do anything you say? Well, that’s an easy one: take her passport.

Dr. Lam and Mr. Lau, did you watch this before greenlighting this to air? If you sent this to me as your media consultant, after a single viewing I would have penned you this email:

“It’s utterly criminal to take somebody’s passport to impede them from traveling. In fact, this is a textbook maneuver favored by sex traffickers in the Far East to trap girls and women. Please see attached a revised script where you can save most of your footage and eliminate the ominous undertones of this spot.”

During the flashbacks in the spot, we gain insights on the their relationship including where they fell in love and where they argued and where her camera was obliterated. The make good at the end where he gives her a new camera and instructs her to “Don’t forget to put my photo up on your dorm door…” is also textbook male sociopath behavior.

The core messaging of the boyfriend’s negative influence on the girl—one who is on a journey to better her own life—wasn’t lost on me as my head spun around on its axis while watching it.

It left me murmuring to Dr. Lam, Mr. Lau, and the entire Hong Kong Tourism Board: “What were you thinking?” This spot does little else than to embolden emotional abuse in relationships while dressing it up as “romance” and “love.” After watching this, Hong Kong has zippo appeal and would never encourage sane people to visit. As Vivian Ward would say, “Big mistake. Big. Huge”

Also, I must admonish the headline writers for the Hong Kong Tourism Board. Really, is this the type of thing that gets people booking airline bundles on Expedia?

“Girl meets boy. Girl leaves boy. Boy hides girl’s passport: A #ShamShuiPo love story.” 

I called Dr. Lam and Mr. Lau, but an entire day has passed and alas, my phone hasn’t rung, nor will I think it is going to happen. Gentlemen, my ringer is on and I’ll answer 24/7. My fees are small(ish) and will save you further humiliation on the back end on future campaigns. I can turn almost anything into gold. ICYMI, I was able to convince the New York Times that Damascus was a top 10 destination once upon a time!

Don’t say a second time, “We should have called the Media Guy!” I’ll be waiting with my special set of media skills.

This is what happens when you take a girl’s passport and Liam Neeson gets wind of it:

Previous “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” Columns:

Burger King
H&M
The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks
T-Mobile, Dove, and McDonald’s

The post Hong Kong Tourism Board: You Should Have Called the Media Guy! appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

No I’m not on vacation—more on that later—right now, I’m hunkered down, barricade-style, on a mission to finalize my Clio submission.

Yes, it’s awards season in the ad world and fresh off my Telly Award wins (hate to brag, well, no, it’s nice to be able to…), I felt it was time to try to add to my collection of Clio Awards from my work in the 1980s and 1990s (yikes, I must be old!). I did some really nice work this year in Japan, Hollywood and the Middle East. The entire submission process to even be considered for a Clio isn’t easy. Last year I found this whimsical little article by Xanthe Wellson on How to Win a Clio Award: 10 things I learned as an award judge. Since I didn’t use a sumo wrestler (which isn’t so simple to exclude when you work in Tokyo) in my ads, I just may have a shot at another golden statue.

My guesstimate is that I’m asked how to get a leg up in the media world about ten times a month. While I offer my baseline advice …

1. Go to school, 
2. Work for free in one of the great agencies and, 
3. Be either unique or great (hopefully both) …

… the first thing I want to say is look up hall of fame art director George Lois. “Who is this Lois Guy?” you ask. Only one of the greatest art directors the advertising industry has ever seen and is said to be the inspiration for the character of Don Draper—a charge he denies with Draper-like passion. He is probably best known for over 92 (yes, ninety-two!) covers he designed for Esquire magazine from 1962 to 1972. However, his signature work for MTV, VH1, ESPN, Tommy Hilfiger and USA Today validated his proclamation that advertising is an art and not a science. AND, he’s a Clio Lifetime Achievement Award winner.

Time Magazine once gushed, “The first step in selling is stopping the eye. No one has mastered that rule as well as George Love. For Esquire, the media renaissance man concocted a fresh style for magazine covers – smart, fun, funny, and visually fluent. He has married the outrageous to the fantastic.” Zip on over to the master’s website to read the insights and commentary on his Esquire covers.

The ironic part of the Clio process is that in order to win an award for your :30 second commercial, you might have to create a mini documentary to pimp you entry. This is actually more work than the creative you are submitting your work for…after this I may need a vacation.

One of the Clio Awards in my office.

Vacations
Speaking of vacations, it turns out you might want to take more of them if you’re angling for a promotion. The conventional wisdom says that you should work, work, work and work some more in order to secure that precious promotion; vacations are for the weak and the unworthy-of-promotion! But new research indicates that the opposite might be true. As it turns out, bosses actually recognize that all work and no play makes for unhappy, unproductive workers. Just make sure you get permission first—going AWOL is a recipe to get fired, not promoted.

Vacations, Part II
In the not so distant past, my tourism work netted a would-be $5 million dollar contract with the Syria Department of Tourism. Yeah, I know when you are saying: There are two words that do not belong in the same sentence: Syria and Tourism. That turned out to be true, because as soon as the ink was dry, civil war broke out and the contract evaporated in the abyss known as Isis. But in 2010, I was the PR King of the Middle East. I convinced The New York Times to pop Damascus into their 31 Places to Go in 2010 as their #7 selection. Read this and hail the king:

7. Damascus
The next Marrakesh? Perhaps mindful of the way that renovations of historic roads have drawn upscale travelers to Marrakesh, Damascus hoteliers are trying to mine tourism gold in the rundown buildings of the Syrian capital’s Old City. These 18th-century homes — many with inviting courtyards and rooftop terraces — are now boutique hotels, like the nine-room Old Vine (www.oldvinehotel.com) and the Hanania (www.hananiahotel.com), which doubles as a hotel and a small museum.

A Meaty Story
If you’re stuck at the keyboard with writer’s block, nothing helps more than a great burger. Every ad man knows that. Benjamin Wallace penned the Story of the Hamburger and its rise from a lowly patty of chopped meat to the aristocracy of foods; its charismatic and delicious descendants; the arguments it inspires­ — over ethics and blends and tastes; and Silicon Valley’s attempt to replace it with a meat that is not meat at all. Make sure to read it if the words aren’t flowing in the screen…

Shia LaBeouf Believes In You
After this psycho pep talk, you’ll just want to DO IT!

AD OF THE WEEK/MONTH/WHATEVER

The Most Obscene Billboard Ever

Costa Rican drivers are getting an eyeful when they pass this billboard for Republica Parrillera Pilsner beer. Looking at the front of the billboard, nothing seems amiss. But when viewed from behind … well, yeah, that does look like a giant penis, doesn’t it?

As always with such placements, there’s debate over whether this was intentional or a mistake. Proponents of the former say it’s brilliant marketing, as drivers who approach the ad from the back are probably fairly likely to check out the front of the ad as they pass—behavior that precious few billboards provoke. Those who think it’s a mistake can’t fathom the kind of balls it would take to put a giant phallic symbol on a billboard.

The post Hail the Public Relations King of the Middle East appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

I just returned from another trip to Damascus planning the 2011-13 Media and Communications Plan for Syria and things couldn’t have gone better.

I mean I don’t usually pat myself on the back, but here is a case where I am compelled to do so. I mean it’s not often David bests Goliath. Here’s a case where I was told something was impossible and we made it very possible.

Q: Did you ever think that Syria could get positive press in North America media?

A: Well, they are!

***Warning – Shameless Self-Promotion***

And, it’s all because of the innovative and distinctive first ever North American Delegation to Syria in October 2009 that we lead at Unique Image, Inc…

-U.S. Sanctions? No problem.

-No Twitter or Facebook access? You don’t need them with all of the turn of time attractions from Crusader Castles to Roman ruins.

-No American brands, like McDonald’s and Starbucks? Substitute with old world hospitality of the bustling restaurants with five-star food.

We have been able to overcome it all and and gain phenomenal press across the continent (8 million in circulation and counting!). I’m talking about top publications like More, San Francisco Examiner, ALO magazine, Travel Weekly, Philadelphia Inquirer, Dreamscapes, Four Seasons magazine, Long Island Pulse, Reviewit, and more.

Now comes the hard part:::keeping it going. You can bet that we can and will. The only thing that could ever stop us is conflict in the region.

We’ve launched pioneering international programs partnering with government and economic developmental agencies, trade associations and chambers of commerce. Our efforts have greatly expanded the scope of cultural, consumer and business-to-business prospects in the U.S. and the Middle East. We are the folks that guided historic sister city agreement between Los Angeles and Beirut signed into effect by the Los Angeles City Council.

Make the impossible, possible?

I love the sound of that.

The post Syria as a Viable Tourism Destination? appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.