Okay, so where am I? 

“This fall, Inspiration4 launches as the first all-civilian mission to space … and you could be on board,” says the ad, directing our curiosity to their website. 

The well sought-after “What the F%(#” award to Oatly. What’s Oatly you ask? Why it’s a somewhat unknown supplier of oat milk and oat milk–related goods. CEO Toni Petersson wasted nearly $6 million—well, way over that number when you factor in production costs to make the spot and agency fees—on a vanity piece on a maudlin country field lounge act replete with bad singing about “how oat milk is like milk, but made for humans.” Oh yes, but only if you’re a smug granola cruncher. (Apologies to the granola crunchers and/or those who are lactose intolerant.) What’s worse is that the company couldn’t event be bothered to put the commercial on their social media accounts. Sheesh!

Meanwhile, the Internet is undefeated!:

The post The Best and the (Mostly) Worst of the Super Bowl LV Commercials appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

I just got back from a whirlwind tour of Finland (Kemi, Lapland, Helsinki) and Russia (Saint Petersburg, Moscow) and it’s time to get caught up. As you can see from the graphic, the call for ANDY Awards entries has been announced. As you know I am an award junkie so I am moving to get my entires into place to win this elusive award. I am sure there are plenty of you who have no idea what this award is, so here’s there elevator speech, “for 55 years the International ANDY awards have been known as the most sought-after awards for creative excellence in advertising.” Heady stuff for sure and prestigious in my industry. I want one and my three previous attempts have bore no fruit. I’m taking it seriously because the single entry cost is $1,500!

The quest for an ANDY made me assess my work against some of my contemporaries from the past year. You know what I found? I found a whole lot of campaigns that should have never been greenlit. They missed their mark or worse. You know I don’t have a Hall of Shame because I’m negative. I do it because the worse the ad, the greater the inspiration to be better; to do better. Also, some of the advertising SVPs need to call the Media Guy before they spend millions on a media buy to showcase bad work This is one of my independent new business pushes. I don’t charge a lot for a two-day consultation and the return on investment for the companies that do call is immense.

In 2016, I introduced my “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” columns where I implore tone-deaf ad men and women who don’t bother to focus group their advertising and I censure then why a call to me, the Media Guy, can save them some serious advertising budgets in bad publicity if they had only let me review their work first. The columns have proved to be reader favorites (you can catch up on past columns here):

Burger King
The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks
T-Mobile, Dove, and McDonald’s
Class of 2018 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees
The Best and the Worst of the Super Bowl LIII Commercials

I am sure you sit at home and wonder openly and loudly how ads such as these could ever wind up on television or in your online feeds. Some are so poorly thought out you have to say “how did this load of poop make it past their high-paid creatives. So despite my offer for inexpensive, yet sage consulting, there were companies and ad department that decided, “hey we got this!” and didn’t call the Media Guy. The ran with their great ideas and I’m here today to bash them a little bit by inducting them into my Media Guy Hall of Shame.

Before I do though, I want to run my annual PSA for those fools making ten times more than me in their lofty corner glass offices:

“Hello Chief Marketing Officers: you can’t see the forest among the trees. Call me. A small consulting check made out to me could save embarrassment and, also, potentially, your jobs. Swallow your pride and just do it!”

5. Peloton’s “The Gift That Gives Back”

Peloton decided to shame a thin woman’s journey to get, well, more thin and the world laughed at them. Others wagged their finger at them, especially the husband who obviously was a real winner as he made his wife check in daily with selfies and what not. In short, the campaign follows her through a yearlong selfie expedition as her dictatorish partner passive aggressively suggested that she needed more exercise.

4. Kia’s ‘The Niro Electrified Family”

Kia started off with a smart actor placement on the form of Robert DeNrio in this heavy power of puns spot aimed at promoting its electric e-Niro range. I’m sure that concept sounded good in the pitch session but the end product ended up like the agency chose to wing it without a script after into securing an Oscar winner. Sigh.

3. Snapchat’s “Would You Rather”

You have to be kidding me that this would happen in the current #MeToo climate. In 2009, Chris Brown decided to use Rihanna as a punching bag on the way to the Grammys. SnapChat decided they should make light of domestic abuse it, asking users to reveal whether they’d prefer to slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown. Snapchat responded saying the ad was the product of a third-party oversight intended to promote the company’s latest game, “Would You Rather.” I mean, really? No wonder SnapChat has fallen off the Earth.

2. Miele’s “International Women’s Day”

How do you celebrate modern women on International Women’s Day? By reinforcing the 1950s housewife stereotype. The appliances manufacturer probably thought it was cute to share an image of four white women excited over a washer and dryer, but completely missed the mark. Miele deleted the Facebook post a few hours later. Seriously Miele, you shouldn’t rely on old-fashioned stereotypes for your marketing. Know your target audience. Understand what drives them and use this information to inform your social media for business campaigns. It’s basic Marketing 101. One call to me and I would have told you that instead of you showing around the creative department and being pandered with a bunch of “great job”, “looks incredible”, and “you killed this!” comments I am sure you heard prior to giving the thumbs up to roll this out.

1. Oreo’s “First Christmas”

So it’s Christmas Eve and even though every kid’s parents leave milk and cookies by the fireplace, Santa is a glutton and needs more. [You know, I covered mean Santa before. He’s not so easy to work for…] At this point, he pulls over to a gas station and sends his first-day-on-the-job elf intern inside for some Oreos. (Yeah, yeah, bad day to start, but go with it, will ya?) Newbie elf grabs a Big Gulp of orange soda and several packages of Oreos (it’s clear he has no idea what glutton Santa is all about). Thankfully, dude at the cash wrap knows the deal and turns on the elf to his milk vault behind the counter which gains him a golden ticket to the Infamous Santa Xmas Rager. Cute idea, no? Exactly, NO! This entire spot smells of creepiness. Dimly lit with newbie elf is wearing way too much makeup. The guy behind the counter with the milk stash twists off the top of the Oreo and demonstrates the proper method to lick off the creme. Good gawd, too much information! All we need is the FBI to show up on December 26th in the epilogue to figure out what became of newbie elf who disappeared for an Oreo pit stop.

The post Class of 2019 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Click to enlarge

Okay, so where am I?

I needed some 3H grade pencils since I am sketching out a new look for my man cave and wanted an accurate drawing of case I need to be built. Standard No. 2 pencils won’t cut the mustard. Why you ask? Well, H leads are tremendously smudge-proof and supply the cleanest lines, making the pencil of choice for tasks such as technical drawings, light sketching, and outlines. If you’re a lefty (I’m not, but sensitive to the plight of the southpaw), taking advantage of smudge-resistant H leads is a must. Yet, I digress…

Anyway, you used to have to drag yourself to one of the only high-end art supply stores in your city to find these suckers, but not you can fire up Amazon and finish your purchased and have them delivered in a few hours. Amazon is pretty great in that respect. After taking exactly 189 seconds to research, get a proper brand recommendation, select, and purchase my pencils, I surfed around the site and and I stumbled across this first edition classic, “The Agon in Euripides,” penned by yours truly. It’s brand new and the last one in stock at $73.00. There’s also 13 more options starting at $73.37 and some more in the used book bin available from $60.00. I mean why wouldn’t you want to purchased this study of the agon, i.e., formal debate, in Euripides’ tragedies? Just look at these reviews:

“Lloyd does an excellent job of describing the structure, style and strategies of Euripides’ agones, and everyone interested in these rhetorical exchanges will read this book with profit.”

—Classical Bulletin

“This is a meticulous and scholarly book. It is clear that the author has thought very hard about every sentence, and the result is a careful and highly reasoned discussion of the texts….The analyses of individual speeches are illuminating, and the book is clearly and elegantly written. There is a useful index. Overall, the book is certainly a success, and will undoubtedly be of help to many concerned either with Euripides or with Greek rhetoric.” —The Classical Review

Yeah, not for everyone, but for those of you desiring a general account of the formal debate in Euripides, including a contrast with the agon in Sophocles, and contains an extended discussion of Euripides’ relationship to fifth-century rhetorical theory and practice, then this is your Holy Grail of agones interpretations.

Speaking of Holy Grails of things, the Emmy nominations came out this week and five ads were nominated for 2019’s Outstanding Commercial Emmy. Apple scored two noms with Nike’s “Dream Crazy,” “A Great Day in Hollywood from Netflix, and long-form PSA Sandy Hook Promise’s “Point of View,” made the list. See them all in the Adweek story. At the end of the day, we’re always working to tell stories that move audiences, you know, those Big Ideas I keep writing about here.

One of the inspiration points I always go to when I’m looking for that Big Idea is the George Carlin comedy bit “Advertising Lullaby.” If you’re familiar with Carlin—and you should be—some of his “Seven Dirty Words” are there, so don’t watch this at work with your volume up at 10. As a view who has probably watched it a thousand times, this is timeless and genius…

Here’s the Full Transcript:

Quality, value, style, service, selection, convenience
Economy, savings, performance, experience, hospitality
Low rates, friendly service, name brands, easy terms
Affordable prices, money-back guarantee, free installation.

Free admission, free appraisal, free alterations,
Free delivery, free estimates, free home trial, and free parking.

No cash? No problem! No kidding! No fuss, no muss,
No risk, no obligation, no red tape, no hidden charges,
No down payment, no entry fee, no purchase necessary,
No one will call on you, no payments or interest till December, and no parking.

Limited time only, though, so act now, order today, send no money,
Offer good while supplies last, two to a customer, each item sold separately,
Batteries not included, mileage may vary, all sales are final,
Allow six weeks for delivery, some items not available,
Some assembly required, some restrictions may apply.

Shop by mail, order by phone.
Try it in your home, get one for your car.
All entries become our properties, employees not eligible,
Entry fees not refundable, local restrictions apply,
Void where prohibited except in Indiana.

So come on in for a free demonstration and a free consultation
With our friendly, professional staff. Our courteous and
Knowledgeable sales representatives will help you make a
Selection that’s just right for you and just right for your budget.

And say, don’t forget to pick up your free gift: a classic deluxe
Custom designer luxury prestige high-quality premium select
Gourmet pocket flashlight.

And if you act now, we’ll include an extra added free complimentary
Bonus gift: a classic deluxe custom designer
Luxury prestige high-quality premium select gourmet leather style wallet.
With detachable keychain, and a pencil holder.
It’s our way of saying thank you.

And if you’re not completely satisfied, you pay nothing.
Simply return the unused portion for a full refund, no questions asked.
It’s our way of saying thank you. Keep your free gift.

Actually, it’s our way of saying ‘Bend over just a little farther
And let us stick this big dick into your ass a little bit
Deeper.

The post 3H Grade Pencils and George Carlin lead to the Big Idea appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

In the seventies, the normal fare on my eight channels was reruns (it wasn’t called syndication yet)—Bewitched, I Love Lucy, The Original Mickey Mouse Club, I Dream of Jeannie, The Brady Bunch—and it got to the point where I knew the dialog from every show cold. But I didn’t watch to see what a moron Darrin Stephens or Major Nelson were or witness Lucille Ball’s physical comedy. I watched for the commercials.

I jumped at every opportunity to see more commercials, study the messaging, learn more about the lighting and camera angles. Little did anyone know that the television was more than a mindless brain drain, but rather a series of seminars I built for myself in that empty apartment that would be the backbone of my future career.

My self-educated study of advertising was better than anything I learned at UCLA or any subsequent continuing education classes I still take. When we would visit my uncle, who was in the ad game, I would smuggle extra copies of Advertising Age and (later) Adweek from his office so I could learn even more about the business and the creative process, always looking to get to the next level. I distinctively remember being captivated by Madge, the Palmolive manicurist, who had a gift of the gab and forced her clients to soak their hands in dishwashing liquid while doing their nails.

That advertising was effective and I begged my mom and dad in separate households to buy Palmolive instead of the other Brand X. I had to negotiate for it, even committing to do the dishes at age seven. Did them I did and yes my hands remained soft and I never had “dishpan hands.” And then, the commercial that stopped me in my tracks, aired one fateful afternoon.

It was a seminal moment for me. Maybe it was the perfect script or perhaps it was the freckle-faced kid with the same name as me. But whatever it was, I remember exact the time I watching this new spot in an awe-inspired trance in that Inglewood apartment. As an only child, I was captivated by the camaraderie at the breakfast table. As a kid of divorced parents, I was amazed there was time for breakfast debates, or that there was even a breakfast. I loved the announcer’s manipulative script and authoritative tone directing parents to manipulate their households that something good for you was actually delicious. I must have watched that commercial 20-30 times that weekend, taking in the nuances of the edit, studying every aspect of it including writing down every word in my black notebook with fresh college-rule paper.

Seeing this spot opened my eyes to the fact that you have to find that amazing idea and drive it with a powerful narrative for anything to truly become special. From a production perspective, I appreciated the meticulously detailed cut and as an ardent viewer, I was convinced that this was one seamless take that built all the way through the debate, the first taste of cereal and climaxing with the “He likes it! Hey Mikey!” What kept me coming back for more was that the momentum didn’t ease with the kids. The announcer played us all like puppets with his crafty delivery that drove you to the final framed shot of the cereal box. Brilliance in thirty seconds.

On Monday, I went to school and everyone ruined it. It seems my entire class had seen this commercial and convinced themselves I was the real Mikey. “He likes it! Hey Mikey!” echoed the hallways for a solid month. It was not was I was looking for in life at that time. I never did try Life Cereal but it was that experience that convinced me that it was me who had to craft the commercials. From the writing of the spot to the actual directing of them. It was a must and so I official began my journey.

As I aged and the innocence of the spot gave way to sexier ways to incite a surge of adrenaline that I could encapsulate into my own work became my calling card. Each spot I contrive takes a boutique agency approach working closely with clients to ensure I’m not just checking boxes and running through the motions, but crafting something that will catch the attention of today’s constantly changing audiences. Here’s the latest series of “Long Man” commercials produced for Sakeru Gummys in Japan…

Who knew that all of this could grow from cereal and dishwashing soap commercials?

The post The Inspiration of Mikey appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

I’m dealing with Tace Bell’s “Tortillapocalypse” and when you’re writing late night, what could be worse than not having warm flour tortillas to ease your late night needs to push through your writing block?

At first I thought I was an advertising ploy, but Taco Bell big wigs say this will impact profits and, I mean, Taco Bello never lies, amirite?

This Fourth of July was a welcome respite watching fireworks at Dodgers Stadium, which happens to be a longstanding Lloyd family tradition Another tradition is fighting the thousands of bad drivers trying to exit en masse from the Dodger Stadium parking lot while traffic control and whomever is helping them watch the anarchy in their lime green neon vests while we kill the environment idling on the asphalt trying to claim every inch of Elysian Park real estate. The entire process to exit was an excruciating one mile, 48-minute debacle.

The whole experienced harshed my mellow and put me into a funk as I mentally dived deeper into the spiral of writer’s block that the postgame Independence Day fireworks was supposed to eradicate.

So there I was at two a.m. trying to get the words on the page and wound up going Jack Torrance once again trying to get words on a page and yet going insane with mindless, hypnotic gibberish on the page. Surely this type of work won’t get me more Telly Awards (the latest arrival pictured here) to soothe my fragile ego that shiny trophies seem to embolden in one fell swoop at an awards ceremony. There is nothing better than flubbing your way through a speech with a gold or silver trophy in your hand and Kelly Clarkson’s “Stronger” song soundtracking your night. Nonetheless, my work resembled something like this:

I’m firmly convinced that if I wasn’t in the business of putting words on paper that eventually turn into moving images on screen that I would be twenty pounds lighter which would be a welcome sight to my cardiologist, but I do so one of my challenges is crafting that Big Idea consistently. It’s a burden I have embraced, but when the words fail, there’s only one solution: Make a Run for the Border. That border is the all night drive thru at Taco Bell. Here’s a classic TV spot from 1988.

I actually learned the secret of the Taco Bell Inspiration hour from an old colleague from the New York agency days. Scott Greene (* – names chanced to protect the guilty) was an incredible copywriter who got caught up in office politics after taking the private elevator of an XYZ Advertising Agency’s big cheese one late night and the boss had to wait an extra six minutes for his ride and fired Scott on the spot. In the hopes to relieve his elevator PTSD one late night after his firing, he called me and asked me to meet him at a Midtown Taco Bell to talk him down from an impending bender.

So I arrived in the middle of the night and there was Scott in his smokers jacket over pajamas and slippers looking every bit of insane as it sounds. We sat down and ordered from their value menu/dollar menu or whatever it was called racking up thirty-six dollars of meat and cheese filled tortillas and Mountain Dew to keep him on the sobriety wagon.

He said he didn’t want to become part of the “Wasteland of Forgotten Men” where old copywriters toil in writing coupons and obituaries late night at some newspaper with their graveyard crew. He told me all of the best Big Ideas can be found in the smooth future heartburn of a Taco Bell quesadilla with fire sauce. He swore by Taco Bell calling it the best Mexican food he ever ate. Being an Angeleno, aka the actual home of the best tacos int he world, I knew factually there is no such thing as “the best tacos in Manhattan.” There are only two kinds of tacos in that island: adequate, and whatever passes as a little better than adequate. He seemed to agree with me, but he pointed out that was true, unless you’re talking Taco Bell.

He then went on a rant/soliloquy detailing how fast food is unhealthy, how it preys on the poor by offering scientifically-engineered food products that are devoid of nutritional value, yet extremely high on emotional satisfaction. It was the emotional satisfaction that spurred Big Ideas he told me. All of the menu offerings at Taco Bell are extremely tasty, and best of all, cheap. Why spend fiver on groceries, he argued. What do you get for a fiver at the supermarket? A candy bar, a few oranges and a drink? Maybe? At Taco Bell, you can get a meal and hangout with the stoners who are wasting away.

“Taco Bell tacos are crunchy, crispy, meaty banana boats of spicy chemical goodness with the the Taco Bell Cool Ranch Doritos taco shell being the THE most important invention of this century,” he boasted. “But the once you sink your mouth into any of the flour tortilla creation, there’s an award waiting to be crafted and earned on the other side. These are must haves!”

He continued as to why Taco Bell delivers brilliance to the “Woke,” “Parents lie to their children about the cruelties of the world, and children grow up to return the favor to their parents. None of these things were true. Parents lie to their children about the cruelties of the world, and children grow up to return the favor to their parents. There are lies everywhere, except Taco Bell. Taco Bell doesn’t care about the fact they deliver heart attacks in a shell. All they want is to deliver you the ultimate food porn emotional satisfaction so you can get on with other satisfactions.

Since they share the same owner, in Manhattan, the Taco Bells and KFCs often share the same storefront. That equals a single “restaurant” that combines two famous brands into one mighty, delicious Frankenstein’s monster of empty calories, the Holy Grail of Mexicano and Souther USA blended into some sort of B-movie two-headed snack shack.

And just like that over a constant hum of munching seven-layer burritos—yeah, that not six, not five, but seven unbelievable layers of blended emotional satisfaction—we sketched out a new resume of for Scott that netting him a directors job that guaranteed him access to private executive level elevators. That was also the genesis of my Big Idea hunting that netting me dozens of shiny gold statues.

So today when I drove to my Taco Bell (along the same route that was detailed in Tom Petty’s famous “Free Falling” song about the very Valley I’ve called home since 1979) and they announced they were out of tortillas I was speechless. I was flummoxed to the point I didn’t know what to order and as the cars started beeping in a strange karmic payback for all of the ear damage I inflicted on the Dodger Stadium crew I ordered a mountain of food I wasn’t prepared for. I just sat in my car slackjawed wondering why the Tortillapocalypse choose to infect my neighborhood.

But you know what? After $14 of emotional satisfaction and a six a.m. five-mile walk to burn off the calories, the words flowed the second I sat down after a warm shower. By 10 a.m., the polished product was complete and emailed to the client. By one p.m., it was approved.

Taco Bell saves the day again…with or without tortillas.

*-Names are changed to protect the guilty.

Someone in your life, somebody has tried to rule you and told you that you would fail without them. Be inspired and conquer:

The post The Tortillapocalypse is No Way to Treat a Media Guy appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Well, it’s been a long wait. Over two weeks to be exact and I’m still waiting by the phone awaiting a call from either Margo Georgiadis, CEO of Ancestry, or senior VP of U.S. Marketing Caroline Sheu…or both. Perhaps it will be a conference call, who knows? So, why should these two industry leaders ring up the independent Media Guy consultant? Well, have you seen their tone-deaf phone “Inseparable” commercial that lit up the airwaves back in April?

Set in the Antebellum South, a foggy pre-dawn scene shows an out-of-breath white man offering a wedding ring and a promise to flee to the North to his love interest, a (presumably enslaved) black woman:

“Abigail,” he says. “We can escape, to the North. There’s a place we can be together, across the border. Will you leave with me?”

But, before I prattle on about how the advertising vision of the Media Guy would have saved the genealogy company millions of dollars in bad will and publicity, let’s watch the spot together:

I understand at the ad was most likely intended to be a romantic adaptation of how someone taking a DNA test ends up with muddle of geographic origins in their heritage. But it wound up as an discomforting blunder when critics correctly pointed out that the “forbidden love” plot was a story gone wrong because the pre-Civil War Deep South was largely defined by the ruthless sexual exploitation of black slave women by white slave owners. All of this brought disdain from the community at large.

With an IPO looming for the genealogical website, this mistake could have been costly. Ancestry quickly pulled the spot and apologized profusely. In a statement, the company told WIRED,  “Ancestry is committed to telling important stories from history,” the company said. “This ad was intended to represent one of those stories. We very much appreciate the feedback we have received and apologize for any offense that the ad may have caused.”

I have to say that this tightly worded apology—mostly likely crafted by Sheu—is a ton better than I would have written. Her experience at GAP, Inc. and her B.A. in Political Science and in East Asian Studies from UCLA, an M.A. in Asian Studies from UC Berkeley, and a J.D./M.B.A. from University of Chicago pales my degrees from UCLA for sure. But with “20 years of experience transforming marketing organizations to adapt to rapidly changing consumer and technology trends” you would figure that Ancestry would have never gotten into this mess to begin with.

A little vision (and a one-hour consulting session with the Media Guy) would have revealed so much just by me looking at the storyboards.

Oh, where to start?

Let’s start with this litany of historical and cultural offenses shoehorned into the 30-second commercial:

• The notion that a white male protector could only liberate a black woman from slavery…
• That most mixed-race people in America today descend from tender, consenting relationships when the biggest historical reason is actually rape…
• Prior to 1861, it was legally impossible for slave women to file rape charges against a white man in Southern U.S. states, 
• That interracial relationship was even possible in this time and this place given the extreme power irregularities of the institution. And finally…
• That there was a promised land of equal opportunity in the “North.” (Breaking News: it wasn’t even close.)

Wow, that’s a lot of errors in thirty seconds. I mean, clearly there were no history books allowed at these final planning sessions prior to their commercial shoot. But, hey, Ancestry was spinning some fairy tale that by filling up a small vial with your saliva that they can miraculously fill in the family tree branches that were severed by the transatlantic slave trade. Oh jeez.

They say when you are so close to a project or a situation, you can’t see the forest among the trees and in this case, that idiom definitely applies. Some extra eyes from the outside would have identified all of this troubling content before filming began. What a waste of filming days and post production and that’s not to mention the damage that could have leveled at their impending IPO.

As a descendant of Russian immigrants from the 1880’s due to the state-sanctioned policies of Alexander III, trust me when I say that tracing family ties aren’t so straightforward. Names were often changed to escape persecution and in the pre-Civil War Era, names of slaves were altered when they were sold to new owners. When you are doing a deep dive on your family history, the process of doing so unearths up painful truths you weren’t expecting.

Reaching out to a diverse audience is important for Ancestry because their DNA database are overwhelmingly white. They tell a much hazier origin story for African Americans. I’m told that Ancestry can divide the 32,000-square-mile island of Ireland into 85 distinct genetic populations. For all of Africa, the company can only carve out nine. Recruiting a more diverse customer base would certainly help lift some of those limitations, and that’s how this commercial came into play however it came off.

So here’s my message to Margo Georgiadis and Caroline Sheu. I called you both and left messages. Two weeks have passed and I’m beginning to think you won’t call me back, but you should and I’ll answer 24/7, 365 days a year. My fees are small and a few hours along with a business class airline ticket will get you and in-person meeting and I’ll save you the hassles of another misfire in the advertising arena. I have the midas touch wherever I go. Once upon a time I made falling in your home a cottage industry and convinced the New York Times that Syria was a top 10 destination.

Do yourselves a favor, don’t say for a second time, “We should have called the Media Guy!” I’ll be waiting with my out special set of media skills. This latest commercial shows that companies like Ancestry still need to prove they can be trusted with their media buys.

Previous “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” Columns:

Hong Kong Tourism Board
Burger King
H&M
The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks
T-Mobile, Dove, McDonald’s

The post ANCESTRY.COM: You Should Have Called The Media Guy! appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

I just finished my judging assignment for the Telly Awards and while there are so great spots deserving of some of the top spots, most left my wanting for a bygone era where commercials that I watched on independent local Los Angeles channels inspired me to become one of those Madison Avenue ad men.

The 1970s had some iconic local spots and I would watch the ABC Afternoon Movie of the Day mostly to watch the commercials before homework, chores and cooking (yes, I was the de facto chef for multiple households back then. The afternoon movie was a popular practice of local television stations from the 1950s through the 1970s, consisting of the daily weekday showing of old films usually between 4:30 and 6:30 P.M. If the film ran two hours or more, it was split into two parts (to be continued really stunk before DVRs and VCRs).

I needed a fix, so I compiled a near complete list of the best commercial spots to appear in Los Angeles in my formative years. My trip down memory lane produced 11 commercials. The dialogue from the last spot will blow you away.

Enjoy the good times…

Number 2
Zachary All
I swear this spot ran during every other commercial break. Edward G. Nalbandian was the clothing king of the Miracle Mile. His storefront was the stuff of legend.

The post Top 10 Local Los Angeles Television Commercials of the 1970s appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Okay, so where am I?

As you can see on the left, the call of Clio entries has been announced. That means I’m pulling together to campaigns from last year trying to see if I should spend $525 to $1,025 on entry fees to put my best work forward. It’s been a while since my last win. Maybe it was easier in the nineties when the wins came fast and furious. A losing streak can surely shake your confidence. That is, until you assess your work over the years and you realize that your campaigns have kicked ass and that ethos has never ebbed and always flowed. Yeah, that’s the ticket.


“Gosh, you’re so negative.”

In the course of doing this work in 2018, I earmarked a whole bunch of campaigns and ads that missed their mark. I don’t do that because I’m negative. I do it because the bad ads give you perspective to make great ads. Also, I’m hoping the people who run the companies making low awareness ads will call me. New business of sorts. The pay is good for me and the return on investment for the companies call is is large.

In 2016, I introduced my “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” columns where I basically call out tone-deaf CEOs and Chairmen who don’t bother to vet their advertising and lecture them on why a simple call to the Media Guy have saved them millions in bad publicity if they had only let me watch their spots first. The columns are quite popular. Catch up on missed columns here:

I write these columns opening wondering how advertising like this could have possibly made it past their high-paid teams of creatives and then when they do, they double down by spending millions of dollars in ad space to brag how clueless their ads are, tarnishing their brands along the way.

In spite of my well-read columns, there were companies that didn’t call and ran whatever felt right to them. Giants like H&M, Heineken, and Dolce and Gabbana proved they could generate some truly awful and ridiculous advertising last year. Hello Chief Marketing Officers: you can’t see the forest among the trees. Call me. A small consulting check made out to me could save embarrassment and, also, potentially, your jobs. Swallow your pride and just do it!

So while I covered some bad campaigns in the midst of 2018, here is the complete list of my newest inductees into the Media Guy Hall of Shame:

5. Hong Kong Tourism Board

This from my October 12th Column:

[The ad] left me murmuring to Dr. Lam, Mr. Lau, and the entire Hong Kong Tourism Board: “What were you thinking?” This spot does little else than to embolden emotional abuse in relationships while dressing it up as “romance” and “love.” After watching this, Hong Kong has zippo appeal and would never encourage sane people to visit. 

Want the full story? Click here.

4. Heineken

The Amsterdam-based beer company is nine hours ahead of me, so I can understand their trepidation about calling at odd times, but their “Sometimes, lighter is better.” commercial landed the brewer in hot water. The 30-second ad shows a bartender sliding a beer past three patrons, all of whom are African-American, to a lighter-skinned woman. The tag line reads “Sometimes, lighter is better.” Yikes!

Chance the Rapper took to Twitter calling it “terribly racist.” Thousands agreed.

3. Dolce & Gabbana

RESULT OF THE BAD CAMPAIGN: You think I’m kidding when I say bad advertising costs millions? After co-founder Domenico Dolce apologized to the public, and then was forced to cancel their Shanghai runway show.

WHY TO FUROR?: The luxury fashion line decided that  a marketing campaign full of ethnic stereotypes was their formula for success. The ad shows an Asian model attempting—and failing—to eat various Italian dishes with chopsticks. The public-at-large were outraged over the depiction of Chinese people as lacking refinement and an understanding of culture. That’s not to mention the sexually suggestive content.

That was only the start. Following the campaign’s launch, Diet Prada, a fashion-focused Instagram account, posted screenshots of an Instagram DM exchange between founder Stefano​ Gabbana and model Michaela Tranova, were Gabbana says “the country of [series of poop emojis] is China,” and “China Ignorant Dirty Smelling Mafia.” Of course the Diet Prada post went viral and the backlash was immediate. The hashtag #BoycottDolce immediately trended on the Chinese social media site Weibo. 

Click here to watch it on Instagram.

1. Domino’s Pizza

In Russia, Domino’s launched “Dominos Forever,” a campaign offering 100 free pizzas a year for 100 years to customers who inked their bodies with the brand’s logo
.

Hundreds took them up on their offer and got inked and that’s when Domino’s pivoted, releasing restrictions such as size of the tattoo, as well as a 350-person cap on the offer. The promotion was immediately cancelled. No word on how many people were denied.

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Did you notice the overriding themes? Every actor in the the Peloton ad is in great shape. Every actor lives in a better home than you. Every actor chose to make the Peloton workout bike the centerpiece of their better life.

Remember what Renée Zellweger said in Jerry Maguire?:

“It used to be a better meal, now it’s a better life.” The same applies to the Peloton. “It used to be a better way to workout, now it’s a better life.” Sure, it’s a commercial, but it might as well be parody, amirite? This past week, @ClueHeywood took to Twitter and did what I couldn’t: roasted Reloton and along the way highlighted the absurdity of their ads with a stream of consciousness thread. Bravo Clue Haywood!

Agency:  Partners & Spade
Production Company:  Reset
Directors:  Andre Stringer
Editor:  Arcade Edit / Brad Waskewich
Composer – Steve Lynch
Music company:  Echolab
ECD/Partner: Anthony Sperduti
Creative Director: Griffin Creech
Art Director: Rob Matthews
Executive Producers:  Erika Best & Andy Wilcox
Account Director:  Cristina Fotieo

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So you’re probably asking, why am I saying that now? Well, while doing some research for an upcoming university project, I came across a section on a college website which highlighted how much it likes “diversity and inclusivity.”

First off, congrats on being proud of your very high standards that most colleges and companies couldn’t possibly reach, even with a brilliantly-written mission and diversity statement. Really, it makes then very exclusive (the opposite of inclusive, duh!).

And yeah, it’s great that you’re attracting more minorities and people of color, but at the same time, your faculty gets more and more liberal, with conservatives being increasingly rare birds.

What the heck am I speaking about? you ask…

It means that you  like diversity when it’s about stuff that shouldn’t matter (gender, skin color, sexual preferences), but less so when it affects something that should (intellectual and political diversity).

But of course, the university can’t admit this, or else there’d be all kinds of trouble. It’s such a rabbit hole, I doubt anyone could avoid the land mines  he said, shamelessly mixing his metaphors.

Maybe the university would be better off valuing “uniqueness” rather than “diversity”?

Just thinking out loud.

Speaking of thinking out loud, in 2016, I introduced my “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” column where I call out tone-deaf advertisers who would have been wise to call me before running some of their ill-fated ads. So far, I’ve tackled:

The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks

I write these columns opening wondering how advertising like this could have possibly made it past their high-paid teams teams of creatives and then when they do, they double down by spending millions of dollars in ad space to brag how clueless their ads are, tarnishing their brands along the way.

Despite my soapbox pontification, companies from McDonald’s to Dove to Pepsi produced some tasteless advertising decisions last year. I mean, really? A simple phone call and a small consulting check made out to yours truly could have saved all of these companies a lot of bank.

And no, I am not always the smartest guy in the room, but yes, I AM somewhat of a savant as to why your silly commercial will or won’t work. So, like the classic 1970s Fram Oil Filter commercial told us, “you can pay me now or, pay me later”:

A small five-figure check to the Media Guy will save you seven figures down the road…yet I digress.

Bottom line of all of this? Don’t do what they did! So while I covered some bad campaigns already, here are three of my newest inductees into the Media Guy Hall of Shame:

T-Mobile

I hated this commercial so much, that I cannot believe I’m actually putting this in my column and subjecting myself to potential hearing the signature T-Mobile audio cues again, and again, and again. Serious, it’s great that new T-Mobile users could now access Netflix as part of their subscription. But telling me again and again, and again? I just wanted to punch my TV:

Model and John Legend worshipper Chrissy Teigen may have said it best, “The T-Mobile commercial with alternating Netflix and T-mobile sounds puts me into an anxiety inducing personal hell.” On a side note, I cannot believe I am using a Chrissy Teigen quote to validate my hatred for this ad.

Dove

How in the world would you pay money to put an ad on television that could best be described as “racially insensitive” and at worst be cased “downright racist’? Dove did just that in October. The soap company posted an ad on its Facebook page that featured a black woman taking off a shirt similar to her skin tone to reveal that she had turned into a white woman wearing a shirt similar to her skin tone. What? Whaaaaaaaat?

Dove quickly pulled the ad and apologized: “In an image we posted this week, we missed the mark in thoughtfully representing women of color and we deeply regret the offense that it has caused. The feedback that has been shared is important to us, and we’ll use it to guide us in the future.”

Regardless of their ghost-written apology, hashtags like #DoneWithDove and #DoveIsRacist have gained traction. Such a shame. One call to the Media Guy would have solved their problem. In 2017-18, you don’t take chances with people thinking you aren’t diversity inclusive.


McDonald’s

In May, McDonald’s U.K. “Dad” spot shows a boy asking his mum what his dad was like. After a series of anecdotes and walking around the English countryside, the duo arrive at their local McDonald’s where it’s revealed the son and father both shared a love for Filet-O-Fish.

I’m sure you noticed that that the boy is clearly hoping one of the descriptions will line up with something that would describe himself. Alas, the boy and his dad seemingly had nothing in common, except that fish sandwich.

After the harsh criticism of the ad, McDonald’s yanked the spot and apologized. Sigh…

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