I just got back from a whirlwind tour of Finland (Kemi, Lapland, Helsinki) and Russia (Saint Petersburg, Moscow) and it’s time to get caught up. As you can see from the graphic, the call for ANDY Awards entries has been announced. As you know I am an award junkie so I am moving to get my entires into place to win this elusive award. I am sure there are plenty of you who have no idea what this award is, so here’s there elevator speech, “for 55 years the International ANDY awards have been known as the most sought-after awards for creative excellence in advertising.” Heady stuff for sure and prestigious in my industry. I want one and my three previous attempts have bore no fruit. I’m taking it seriously because the single entry cost is $1,500!

The quest for an ANDY made me assess my work against some of my contemporaries from the past year. You know what I found? I found a whole lot of campaigns that should have never been greenlit. They missed their mark or worse. You know I don’t have a Hall of Shame because I’m negative. I do it because the worse the ad, the greater the inspiration to be better; to do better. Also, some of the advertising SVPs need to call the Media Guy before they spend millions on a media buy to showcase bad work This is one of my independent new business pushes. I don’t charge a lot for a two-day consultation and the return on investment for the companies that do call is immense.

In 2016, I introduced my “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” columns where I implore tone-deaf ad men and women who don’t bother to focus group their advertising and I censure then why a call to me, the Media Guy, can save them some serious advertising budgets in bad publicity if they had only let me review their work first. The columns have proved to be reader favorites (you can catch up on past columns here):

Burger King
The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks
T-Mobile, Dove, and McDonald’s
Class of 2018 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees
The Best and the Worst of the Super Bowl LIII Commercials

I am sure you sit at home and wonder openly and loudly how ads such as these could ever wind up on television or in your online feeds. Some are so poorly thought out you have to say “how did this load of poop make it past their high-paid creatives. So despite my offer for inexpensive, yet sage consulting, there were companies and ad department that decided, “hey we got this!” and didn’t call the Media Guy. The ran with their great ideas and I’m here today to bash them a little bit by inducting them into my Media Guy Hall of Shame.

Before I do though, I want to run my annual PSA for those fools making ten times more than me in their lofty corner glass offices:

“Hello Chief Marketing Officers: you can’t see the forest among the trees. Call me. A small consulting check made out to me could save embarrassment and, also, potentially, your jobs. Swallow your pride and just do it!”

5. Peloton’s “The Gift That Gives Back”

Peloton decided to shame a thin woman’s journey to get, well, more thin and the world laughed at them. Others wagged their finger at them, especially the husband who obviously was a real winner as he made his wife check in daily with selfies and what not. In short, the campaign follows her through a yearlong selfie expedition as her dictatorish partner passive aggressively suggested that she needed more exercise.

4. Kia’s ‘The Niro Electrified Family”

Kia started off with a smart actor placement on the form of Robert DeNrio in this heavy power of puns spot aimed at promoting its electric e-Niro range. I’m sure that concept sounded good in the pitch session but the end product ended up like the agency chose to wing it without a script after into securing an Oscar winner. Sigh.

3. Snapchat’s “Would You Rather”

You have to be kidding me that this would happen in the current #MeToo climate. In 2009, Chris Brown decided to use Rihanna as a punching bag on the way to the Grammys. SnapChat decided they should make light of domestic abuse it, asking users to reveal whether they’d prefer to slap Rihanna or punch Chris Brown. Snapchat responded saying the ad was the product of a third-party oversight intended to promote the company’s latest game, “Would You Rather.” I mean, really? No wonder SnapChat has fallen off the Earth.

2. Miele’s “International Women’s Day”

How do you celebrate modern women on International Women’s Day? By reinforcing the 1950s housewife stereotype. The appliances manufacturer probably thought it was cute to share an image of four white women excited over a washer and dryer, but completely missed the mark. Miele deleted the Facebook post a few hours later. Seriously Miele, you shouldn’t rely on old-fashioned stereotypes for your marketing. Know your target audience. Understand what drives them and use this information to inform your social media for business campaigns. It’s basic Marketing 101. One call to me and I would have told you that instead of you showing around the creative department and being pandered with a bunch of “great job”, “looks incredible”, and “you killed this!” comments I am sure you heard prior to giving the thumbs up to roll this out.

1. Oreo’s “First Christmas”

So it’s Christmas Eve and even though every kid’s parents leave milk and cookies by the fireplace, Santa is a glutton and needs more. [You know, I covered mean Santa before. He’s not so easy to work for…] At this point, he pulls over to a gas station and sends his first-day-on-the-job elf intern inside for some Oreos. (Yeah, yeah, bad day to start, but go with it, will ya?) Newbie elf grabs a Big Gulp of orange soda and several packages of Oreos (it’s clear he has no idea what glutton Santa is all about). Thankfully, dude at the cash wrap knows the deal and turns on the elf to his milk vault behind the counter which gains him a golden ticket to the Infamous Santa Xmas Rager. Cute idea, no? Exactly, NO! This entire spot smells of creepiness. Dimly lit with newbie elf is wearing way too much makeup. The guy behind the counter with the milk stash twists off the top of the Oreo and demonstrates the proper method to lick off the creme. Good gawd, too much information! All we need is the FBI to show up on December 26th in the epilogue to figure out what became of newbie elf who disappeared for an Oreo pit stop.

The post Class of 2019 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

So you’re probably asking, why am I saying that now? Well, while doing some research for an upcoming university project, I came across a section on a college website which highlighted how much it likes “diversity and inclusivity.”

First off, congrats on being proud of your very high standards that most colleges and companies couldn’t possibly reach, even with a brilliantly-written mission and diversity statement. Really, it makes then very exclusive (the opposite of inclusive, duh!).

And yeah, it’s great that you’re attracting more minorities and people of color, but at the same time, your faculty gets more and more liberal, with conservatives being increasingly rare birds.

What the heck am I speaking about? you ask…

It means that you  like diversity when it’s about stuff that shouldn’t matter (gender, skin color, sexual preferences), but less so when it affects something that should (intellectual and political diversity).

But of course, the university can’t admit this, or else there’d be all kinds of trouble. It’s such a rabbit hole, I doubt anyone could avoid the land mines  he said, shamelessly mixing his metaphors.

Maybe the university would be better off valuing “uniqueness” rather than “diversity”?

Just thinking out loud.

Speaking of thinking out loud, in 2016, I introduced my “You Should Have Called the Media Guy” column where I call out tone-deaf advertisers who would have been wise to call me before running some of their ill-fated ads. So far, I’ve tackled:

The American Red Cross
Pepsi
Kellogg’s
Anaheim Ducks

I write these columns opening wondering how advertising like this could have possibly made it past their high-paid teams teams of creatives and then when they do, they double down by spending millions of dollars in ad space to brag how clueless their ads are, tarnishing their brands along the way.

Despite my soapbox pontification, companies from McDonald’s to Dove to Pepsi produced some tasteless advertising decisions last year. I mean, really? A simple phone call and a small consulting check made out to yours truly could have saved all of these companies a lot of bank.

And no, I am not always the smartest guy in the room, but yes, I AM somewhat of a savant as to why your silly commercial will or won’t work. So, like the classic 1970s Fram Oil Filter commercial told us, “you can pay me now or, pay me later”:

A small five-figure check to the Media Guy will save you seven figures down the road…yet I digress.

Bottom line of all of this? Don’t do what they did! So while I covered some bad campaigns already, here are three of my newest inductees into the Media Guy Hall of Shame:

T-Mobile

I hated this commercial so much, that I cannot believe I’m actually putting this in my column and subjecting myself to potential hearing the signature T-Mobile audio cues again, and again, and again. Serious, it’s great that new T-Mobile users could now access Netflix as part of their subscription. But telling me again and again, and again? I just wanted to punch my TV:

Model and John Legend worshipper Chrissy Teigen may have said it best, “The T-Mobile commercial with alternating Netflix and T-mobile sounds puts me into an anxiety inducing personal hell.” On a side note, I cannot believe I am using a Chrissy Teigen quote to validate my hatred for this ad.

Dove

How in the world would you pay money to put an ad on television that could best be described as “racially insensitive” and at worst be cased “downright racist’? Dove did just that in October. The soap company posted an ad on its Facebook page that featured a black woman taking off a shirt similar to her skin tone to reveal that she had turned into a white woman wearing a shirt similar to her skin tone. What? Whaaaaaaaat?

Dove quickly pulled the ad and apologized: “In an image we posted this week, we missed the mark in thoughtfully representing women of color and we deeply regret the offense that it has caused. The feedback that has been shared is important to us, and we’ll use it to guide us in the future.”

Regardless of their ghost-written apology, hashtags like #DoneWithDove and #DoveIsRacist have gained traction. Such a shame. One call to the Media Guy would have solved their problem. In 2017-18, you don’t take chances with people thinking you aren’t diversity inclusive.


McDonald’s

In May, McDonald’s U.K. “Dad” spot shows a boy asking his mum what his dad was like. After a series of anecdotes and walking around the English countryside, the duo arrive at their local McDonald’s where it’s revealed the son and father both shared a love for Filet-O-Fish.

I’m sure you noticed that that the boy is clearly hoping one of the descriptions will line up with something that would describe himself. Alas, the boy and his dad seemingly had nothing in common, except that fish sandwich.

After the harsh criticism of the ad, McDonald’s yanked the spot and apologized. Sigh…

The post Class of 2017 Media Guy Hall of Shame Inductees appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

Just who conceived this ad anyway?

Dear Air Canada:

Okay, I get it. It’s January and you’re hell bent on showcasing how to screw up a great start to 2017.

Before I get the what’s really bothering me, let me just say you need to get your freaking act together. I checked the flight board in my terminal and the majority of your flights seem to be either delayed or cancelled. That’s no way to treat your customers.

So yeah yeah “bad weather*” delayed your flight out of Toronto (to the tune of three plus hours), which also means my flight that’s supposed to be on the turnaround back to the Great White North is also delayed and my connection will be long gone. Translation? I’ll be sleeping in a crappy transfer hotel that smells like mold and eating equally crappy hotel food with airline vouchers that never quite cover a full meal.

*sigh*

Seriously? $44.95 for the day pass?

After boarding your 767-300ER plane with overhead bins just big enough to accommodate a couple of duty free bags and a jacket (no I’m not kidding), I settled into my hardened seat with no less than four pieces of leftover trash in the seat pocket in front of me and noticed something alarming: there were NO entertainment options on this flight.

-No monitors mounted in every seat (as promised on your braggadocios website). Not a series of miniature displays ready to motor down after we take off.

-Not a screen mounted on the bulkhead wall. No magazines or newspapers.

-No Sharper Image Monopoly boards to engage my chatty seat mates.

Nope.

Nothing.

I mean I could have purchased an all day wifi pass if I had $44.95 CAD to blow, or if there was a USB port to plug into after my battery waned. Jeez, who would have guessed that a scheduled 9 hour, 10 minute flight would have bubkis?

Certainly not me.

Just then a curious pamphlet screamed to me like a beacon through the seat pocket litter. It read simply: “Player”.

The pamphlet showed the standard smiling Caucasian blonde mother accompanied by her pre-requisite matching 9-year-old daughter in coveralls learning to maneuver on some kind of tablet. She was being helped by a well-appointed African-Canadian flight attendant who seemed eager to kneel down endlessly in the aisle to guide the entitled pre-teen.

(Seriously! Who casts these ads? This one screamed “clueless 1970s ad man” from the second I picked it up. White passengers. Black servers. C’mon already Air Canada! We don’t do ads like this anymore.)

Yet, I digress…

Anyway, this pamphlet solved the mystery…read along with me now, “We hope you are enjoying Player. Air Canada Rouge’s complimentary in-flight entertainment system. If you’d like the enjoy Hollywood new releases and popular games or if you left your device at home, ask your Rouge Crew about renting and Air Pad 2 for only $10.”

It was written in English AND French so it had to be friendly and true, right?

Yeah, thanks Air Canada!

So this is where I get psyched. I have so many devices that could conceivably work. Between my MacBook Pro, mini iPad, and iPhone I must have this wired. One quick ring to the flight attendant** should get me rolling so I could watch Ghostbusters or The Magnificent Seven or even the Christmas classic Die Hard.

And then the bubble burst. My flight attendant let me know that the complimentary portion of their player system was an app that needed to be downloaded prior to takeoff. It was casually suggested that I could download the app and set it up if I purchased the 30-minute wifi pass for $8.95 CAD. Ugh.***

I wound up purchasing the iPad rental for $10; don’t know why. A young Media Guy would have stood on principle and gone sans entertainment as a silent protest to the airline nickel and dime money grab. The older version just wanted to watch Bruce Willis save Christmas at Nokatomi Plaza.

Thanks Air Canada once again. Now I know why there over one thousand posts with the hashtag #AirCanadaSucks on Instagram.

And to top it all off? You lost my luggage even though I checked with your people three times in Toronto.

Get your act together.

With tough love and all due respect,
The Media Guy

P.S. Special shoutout to Mike Waring. He’s the manager at the Toronto Airport Air Canada connection desk. Despite having ample time to put me on a half-full Air Canada flight that wouldn’t take off for nearly an hour, he told me I was out of luck. He doubled down by letting me know there was nothing I could say to make him change his mind. Through a mock genuine smile, he reported that a lot of work was put into placing me on a flight tomorrow. In turn, I let him know that possessing a Napoleonic attitude was no way to run a transfer desk. I mean he didn’t even leave me time to go to the Hockey Hall of Fame. Although my high-brow insult carried excellent comedic timing, I think he won this battle. Thanks Mike!

————–

*-I’m still trying to figure out the bad weather thing since there was no snow or rain or icy conditions in Toronto, nor in sunny Spain where my flight originated. Ah, the airline industry, where lying is just a way of life.

**-By the way, there were no Canadian-African flight attendants as suggested in the pamphlet. Sadly, there weren’t any smiles either.

***-Air Canada, take a note: JetBlue is now giving all passengers free Wi-Fi.

The post CANCELLED: An Open Letter to Air Canada appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.

There’s good media and bad media.

I know in the days where I used to work with The Walt Disney Company, if you had a client on your roster that was even remotely close to pornography, your business relationship would be in serious jeopardy. Porn is very bad for work, we all know that, but now we are starting to realize that it’s even worse for home.

These days, the glimpse of a naked body after being misdirected to a porn site is no shock to the average internet user. What may prove more surprising is the pornography industry’s statistics, compiled worldwide, wherein a second is worth 1,000 images — or more:

• $3,075.64 is spent on pornography … every second
• 28,258 internet users view pornography … every second
• 372 internet users type porn terms into search engines … every second

“There have been several surveys about who’s viewing internet pornography and what consequences they’re experiencing, and the findings are disquieting,” says Jim Wysong, author of The Neutering of the American Male (www.TheNeuteringoftheAmericanMale.com).

“In a 20,000-person study recently conducted by TED.com, porn is the most prevalently cited obstacle for romantic relationships between men and women in their teens and 20s. Women say guys are emotionally unavailable, and men say porn makes them less interested in pursuing a relationship.

“In reality, men have been compromising their masculine nature for several decades.”

A lack of involvement by fathers in raising their sons; the overuse of prescription and illegal drugs; and uncertainty about their gender role have set American boys and men back, Wysong says.

“We all have a need to feel significant, to be accepted and loved, but those issues  prevent some males from developing fulfilling relationships,” Wysong says.

“Sexual intimacy is typically a byproduct of emotional intimacy. Unfortunately, when people don’t have a fulfilling relationship, their sexual desires don’t disappear.”

Men are often more visual and physical, so they’re able to use pornography to meet some of that need in the short term. But in the long run, they also need the emotional support, nurturing and deeper connection with a partner, he says.

“It becomes a vicious cycle: Males turn to pornography seeking to satisfy unmet needs, and pornography addiction makes it extremely difficult to achieve the balanced, loving relationship that would meet their emotional needs,” he says.

A Canadian study found that one in three teenage boys are “heavy porn users,’’ and an Italian study reveals that a large percentage of men there suffer from “sexual anorexia,” a temporary impotence, in their 20s because they were heavily into pornography in their teens, Wysong notes.

Parents, especially fathers, need to sit down with their sons and discuss sex. The lack of dialogue leaves young males to seek the answers to their curiosity on their own. Unfortunately, many turn to porn, which does not portray sex in a healthy and balanced way.

One of the most destructive things about it is that it portrays women as something to be used rather than valued and respected, Wysong says.

“Fortunately, this is something that can be remedied, both on a physical and a mental level,” he says.
If you’re concerned that you or a loved one is addicted to porn, Wysong suggests taking this self test from www.recoveryconnection.org:

1. Do you feel guilty or ashamed after looking at pornography?
2. Do you look forward to being alone so you can look at pornography?
3. Has pornography negatively affected your personal relationships, your job, or your finances?
4. Do you find that you have been looking at an increasing amount of pornography over time?
5. Do you look at pornography when you are bored, anxious, or lonely?

A yes to one or more of these questions may indicate a need for a quality treatment program. The Media Guy agrees wholeheartedly.

The post BAD MEDIA: Porn Ruining Relationships appeared first on Media Guy Struggles.